The Recipe for a Republic

Children saying the Pledge of Allegence

In honor of Independence Day of the United States

A family-friendly way to teach how a republic works!

You will need the following “ingredients”:

  • Dried beans (such as pinto or kidney beans; popcorn will work, too!)
  • Golf balls (or ping-pong balls, or cotton balls)
  • Two large cups; one labeled “Democracy” and the other labeled “Representatives”
  • A sign or piece of paper that says “= A Republic!”

In the United States of America, when we say the Pledge of Allegiance, we say, “…and to the Republic for which it stands…”  America has a form of government called a Republic.  What is a “Republic”?

The Recipe for a Republic:

1 c. Democracy + 1 c. Representation = A Republic

1) Fill the Democracy cup with beans. The beans represent “the people” = us! “We the People” govern ourselves by exercising our “voice” through the voting process.

Points you can explain:

  • Democracy: Demos = the people; Kratia = rule or govern (Greek words).
  • “We the people” are sovereign or have the absolute power to rule; the people self-govern by choosing the leaders and laws they want through the democratic process of exercising their voice and vote.  (In a monarchy, for example, the king is sovereign; the king governs the people by his rules/laws. Typically, the people do not have a voice/vote.)
  • Many people came to America because they wanted to experience a republican form of government where they could have the freedom to choose their leaders and laws.

2) Fill the Representation cup with as many golf balls (or ping pong balls, or cotton balls) as will fit. Note that there are less golf balls in the cup than beans.  That’s okay because the golf balls are representatives of “the people” (or the beans) in the first cup!

Points you can explain:

  • The word represent means “to act or speak for”.
    A representative is someone who acts or speaks for others.
  • Because America is so big, “we the people” (the beans) can’t possibly research and understand every local, state, and national issue in order to make an informed vote.  So… we elect a few people (the golf balls) we trust to be our representatives and to research and vote on local, state, and national issues on our behalf!
  • To effectively represent someone, two-way communication must happen:
    a)  We must communicate our desires, questions, concerns, ideas and suggestions with our elected representatives.  We must do our part to keep ourselves informed on basic local, state, and national issues.  This is our responsibility.  How can we effectively do this?

(Some ideas: Who represents you?  A search on the internet will provide you with websites and contact info regarding your representatives.  The internet, local newspaper, and other news sources such as TV and radio provide info on current events.  Dedicate a few minutes each day to listen and/or read!  Attend a local school board, county, or city meeting once a month or more as time permits.  When your community has a town-hall meeting, attend and introduce yourself to your elected representative.  Offer feedback!  Above all, make sure you vote for someone who will best represent you.)

b)  Our elected representatives must communicate their desires, questions, concerns, ideas and solutions with us and receive our feedback.  They must do their part to study and research the issues and attend the meetings pertaining to their elected stewardship.  This is their responsibility.  How can they effectively do this?

(Some ideas: If you are an elected representative, make sure your contact information is available on the internet and in some hard copy form – a brochure or pamphlet – in your office.  Get to know your constituents by inviting them to a town-hall meeting where you can meet them and receive their feedback.  Encourage them to call or email you when they have questions, concerns, or suggestions.  Send out a monthly newsletter via email briefly summarizing current issues on which you are working and that they need to know about.  Invite their feedback!)

3) Show the formula for a Republic again: 1 c. Democracy + 1 c. Representation = A Republic

Review:

  • 1 c. Democracy means “we the people self-govern”; we choose the laws and leaders by which we desire to be governed through the democratic process of informed voting.
  • 1 c. Representation means we choose leaders who act in our behalf and speak for us in local, state and national government      

4)  Take away the Democracy cup.  If we left out the ingredient of Democracy, what could happen to our Republic?

(Example: Could our leaders truly represent us if we do not get to vote for them or exercise our voice to communicate with them?  Could this impact our freedom?  If so, how?)

5)  Put back the Democracy cup and take away the Representation cup.  If we left out the ingredient of Representation, what could happen to our Republic?

(Example: What would it be like if the majority of the people – for example, 51% – did not like your cultural or religious beliefs, your race, or your socio economic status and there was no one to speak for you – the minority – and act in your behalf?  Could a pure democracy impact your freedom?  If so, how?)

Summary:

Just as leaving out an ingredient in a recipe could result in something that we may not want to eat, leaving out or weakening one of the two important ingredients of our Republic could result in a different form of government that we may not want to have.  Our constitutional republic was designed to safeguard everyone’s life, liberty, and ability to pursue happiness.  Therefore, isn’t our republic worth preserving?!?

The Best Father’s Day Gift Ever!

banner_fathers_day.GIF

“Urgh!” my husband exclaimed, as he dropped on the leather couch in our family room.  

I could see he was frustrated. Maybe this was the moment I had been waiting for, praying for. Over the years I had seen my husband become more and more lazy in his parenting and communications.  We used to be on the same page with how we corrected and taught the children, but as his busy life consumed more of his time and energy, he started relaxing in his parenting style and had begun to lose touch with his role in the home.

He still saw himself as the leader and father of the family, but the children didn’t necessarily see him that way.  Since I was calmer than my husband and more consistent with teaching and correcting our children than he was, the children started respecting me, but manipulating him.  I felt bad as I saw the children growing further and further away from their father, so I prayed daily that he would feel motivated to change his course and find principles in his communications again.  

At this time in our marriage, I couldn’t talk to my husband about how I felt about these things because he didn’t like anyone to correct him. He viewed my comments, which were made from a place of love and concern, as criticism. Thankfully, we have both taken the time over the years to improve ourselves and our marriage relationship, so now we are in a place where we seek correction from each other., 

A Learning Moment

“What do you want?” I said.  

“What do you mean ‘what do I want?’ That’s a pretty broad question,” he replied.

“Well, you are obviously frustrated.  You just sat down with a deep sigh.  You must want something.  What do you want?  What do you want tor yourself and for your life right now?”  I questioned him again.

“I just want the kids to do what I say,” He confessed.  

“Oh, okay. Just say ‘I’m giving you an instruction…’ before you tell them what to do. The children know the steps to following instructions.  If you pre-teach them in that way before instructing they will understand you better,” I explained.

For years I had taught my children four basic communication and self-government skills and they were good at them.  My husband actually knew the skills too; he just didn’t choose to communicate with them. The most basic of the skills was Following Instructions.  The steps to Following Instructions are: 

Look at the person giving instruction with a calm face, voice and body

Say “okay” or ask to disagree appropriately

Do the task immediately

Check back when the task is complete  

My husband looked at me as a large smile spread across his face.  “Are you saying I need to use the ‘Four Basic Skills’ again?” 

“Well, I think that these skills — Following Instructions, Accepting No Answers, Accepting Consequences and Disagreeing Appropriately — are skills for life. So, yes.  I guess you can say that as parents we can’t stop teaching them these important skills,” I said.

“Okay. I will use the skills again.  I guess I assumed that they should just remember to obey once they were told to,” he confessed.

Now I was smiling. I had been praying that my husband would want to talk about the best way to teach the children, the way we used to discuss it.  My heart was thrilled, we were finally becoming unified the important mission of raising our children again. “Honey, that was a great couple’s meeting.” I said.

“A couple’s meeting?” he asked.

“Sure, these short meetings about what we want are vital to creating the kind of family we are hoping to have. If we have these meetings regularly, you can get lots of what you want.  If you want dinner by a certain time, or more time to cuddle and talk, you just need to tell me and I can help you get more of what you want.”  

At this moment shock set into my husband’s face. “You would make dinner by 6:00 pm every day if I said I wanted it?” he asked in disbelief.  

“I can’t say I would be perfect, but if you really wanted it, I would try to help you get what you want,” I assured him. “That is what people who love people do.  But, if we don’t ever talk about things deliberately, then I won’t know what you want and can’t help you get it.” 

“Okay, let’s have regular meetings,” he said with enthusiasm.  

Lessons Learned And Wants Received 

So, what do all dads want? They want their children to respect them and they want their wives to understand and help them.  Don’t we all want understanding and respect? These are two of the most important things to all people.

This year for Father’s Day, give the dad in your family what he wants most — to feel your love and understanding and to have peace at home.  Maybe this year focus more on how you communicate with him instead of focusing only on a gift. Of course he will still love that new tool or ticket to the big game. But if that game or tool comes with deep love shown through unity, understanding and respect, then the dad in your life will see himself as the luckiest man alive. 

To find out how to teach your family the Four Basic Skills or how to have meaningful couple’s meetings, visit https://teachingselfgovernment.com