Truth Be Told…Influence of Family is Astounding!

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Even though there’s violence dotting the globe, the largest battle of our day isn’t physical. It’s a war of words. All these words are supposed to lead the listeners to truth. Often the talk feels cheap even though the claim is each new idea, paradigm and argument is the most valuable.

Is this word war new? How are children faring during this ideological war? What is happening to family relationships and the historical pattern for finding happiness and success in life? How is this war impacting business, government and religious groups? What impact does the family have on this battle?

This battle of ideas has been going on since the beginning of time and is often referred to as “the great debate.” Philosophers, scientists, theologians and families have tried to determine which ideas are true and which are merely creative, or worse, controlling. Why? Because the search for truth is the search for the meaning of life. Truth is a knowledge of things as they were, are, and as they are to come. Truth is limited to these parameters. Anything more or anything less is a deception of the truth.

Can Common Consensus Make a World Flat?

“By some, ‘truth’ has been defined as a variable—as a relative term. Those who argue thus take the position that what is commonly thought to be true by the constituted authorities of any particular generation is true for that time. That is to say, what is generally believed to be true today is true for this day. But to say this is also to say that what was believed to be true yesterday was true yesterday… That sounds very plausible until we reduce it to specific cases. There was a generation that believed and proclaimed that the world was flat. They were sincere in this belief, and thought they were proclaiming truth—but that didn’t make the world flat, and the truth was and is that the world was not and is not flat. And so we could multiply examples of what people have believed and have not believed, suddenly to come to the realization that no matter what men at a given time happen to believe, if it isn’t true, their belief doesn’t make it true, no matter what the constituted authority of the day has to say about it. Truth cannot be made by authority—nor can it be unmade. Truth is eternal.” (Richard L. Evans)

The Influence of Home and Parents

Even though truths can be taught elsewhere, no one can take the parents’ place as the most influential voice for and example of what truth is. Good parents know a large part of their parental role is to teach their children the vital truths that are necessary to be discerning and free.

The family has the greatest potential for impact on preserving truth, as well as bringing individuals to the truths they need for living happily. Truth brings security, promotes personal goals and initiates a life of purpose. Happiness in life is assured if a person has truth and lives true to it.

Even though this true principle can be discovered in the volumes of histories and biographies throughout the world, families nowadays are currently struggling to help their children find purpose, happiness and truth. Why is that? And what can parents do to create a greater positive impact on their children?

What is happening to children, family relationships, and the treasured values and truths that have historically been taught by parents? Parents are still teaching their children as often as they have time, but lack of time is one challenge parents face today. Families are over-scheduled. Without quality time and experiences together, a parent is just another voice in a very loud world.

The digital age presents more voices participating in “the great debate” than ever before. How are children, and adults for that matter, able to process and discern between the vast amounts of paradigms and ideologies?

Parents can have greater influence in teaching the truths to their children than any other voice in the world if the family relationships are strong and the parents are calm, honest and non-emotional when discussing the differing opinions. Parents need to arm their children with the truth before someone or something else becomes their first source of information claiming to be the truth.

A wise parent talks about sensitive issues before the child is exposed to other sources, and does so with honesty, modesty and a feeling of safety. This feeling alone will bring children back to their parents again and again to talk and ask questions when the child encounters something in contrast to the truths the parent has already taught.

Obviously, more time with family and parents also increases a child’s chances for finding the truths that lead to purpose, security and happiness. Parents mistakenly assume their children need lots of time with their friends and digital devices just because the children are asking for it. Children aren’t typically able to discern what they need psychologically, morally and ideologically. If they could, they wouldn’t need parents. Parents are charged with safeguarding their children’s minds and hearts. They do this best by first discerning for their children, and then teaching and training them to discern for themselves. Then their children will have the experience and skills to appropriately discern when they reach adulthood.

Truth is important for lifelong happiness, but not everything that proclaims to be truth is. Creativity and common consensus don’t make truth. Even though the war of words can be overwhelming, I encourage parents to stand taller, be wiser, and connect deeper with their children. Be the teacher and leader they need in a world full of self-proclaimed leaders who simply desire fame and/or fortune.

Your influence is astounding. Your family relationships can make all the difference in the happiness of your child.

Read “Roles: The Secret to Family, Business, and Social Success” by Nicholeen Peck for more information on how to improve your relationships and positive influence.

Solutions for Today’s Teenage Sexual Problems

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The other day I was attending a very heated legislative committee meeting in Utah where changes to the way state school teachers teach about sexual health were proposed. I recognized some of the legislators were not acknowledging the real solution to the problems facing teenagers.

Debate and public comments on the proposed changes went on for hours. Lawmakers didn’t like the bill and ended up voting it down. However, right before the bill was officially refused some legislators expressed concern about some of the sexual problems they see pertaining to young people nowadays. Even though it wasn’t the solution, they understood why the bill was proposed.

One legislator said that he didn’t know the solution to all the problems he was seeing in young people, but he would really like someone to figure it out. He also said that since times have changed, we need to make some changes, but he isn’t sure the right way to do it.

It is to that legislator’s suggestions that I would like to address my thoughts in this article.

The moment he expressed his concerns I had some thoughts. The first thought was this is a parenting issue, not a legislature issue. Legislators aren’t meant to take care of every problem facing an individual or family. They simply can’t, and even if they try it won’t be effective. They are too far away from the problem. The only solutions they can offer are a statement of encouragement or caution, a law that makes behavior illegal, or money to fund new programs. None of these legislative options would be effective in changing a teenager’s behavior problems, such as engaging in dangerous sexual acts.

The only way to solve the teenage sexual behaviors is for the teenagers and parents to improve their relationship and connection by establishing consistent, quality, open communication and to have clearly understood family roles. With correct family roles, teenagers will understand and embrace the fact that they’re still learners and that their parents are teachers. They’ll learn the importance of adhering to their parent’s counsel with love and respect. To achieve this, families need more uninterrupted time to talk, play and learn together.

A Change of Heart

The second thought I had was a comment from my 20-year-old son related to another issue. He said, “We can’t legislate good behaviors.” He’s right. Just because something is written on a document doesn’t mean a heart is changed or a behavior problem is corrected.

Long-term change of behavior is an indication that a heart has changed. For the sexually active or pornography viewing teenagers to have a change of heart, they need to have a vision of what type of life they want to have as adults. I wonder if anyone has taken the time to talk about where they see their lives in 10 years and what they want most out of life. Do they know the true recipe for a happy life?

They also need to be taught problem-solving skills by their parents. These are skills that can not only be applied to all difficult situations, but also empower them to choose differently. Learning proper adult skills while young is key for future success as an adult.

Ultimately, a changed heart means a repentant heart. When children see who they want to become and a parent helps them take the necessary steps to become that good person, then they can achieve that objective. Good works and good discussions will help them fully sacrifice and leave behind the sexual temptations of the past.

Our Changing Times?

Are sexual temptations a thing of the present but not the past? People seem to look at sexuality (experiencing sexual pleasure) as one of the hallmarks of a good life these days. Conversations about serving others and living with purpose and purity seem to have been replaced with conversations about mapping out your sex life and making sure each person “feels good” about what they do sexually.

When I heard this state representative mention how our times had changed and how we definitely need to make some changes, but he didn’t know what changes needed to be made, I felt like the room was left in an unnecessary black hole.

Have our bodies and sexual natures ever changed in the history of humanity? Are sexual urges and bad sexual choices new? No. That would be impossible. So, what is new? The only thing that has changed in our times is the reprioritizing of morals, values, purpose and facts pertaining to each individual, family, and our environment. A Facebook group page dedicated to the “smart” education of children has a slogan: “Facts taught in school, values taught at home.”

When I saw this slogan I wondered how they think the school would ever be able to not teach values. It’s impossible. If religious or patriotic values are not taught at school, but only facts, then those facts will become the values. Isn’t the purpose of a fact to lead a person to understanding a truth? If schools teach facts and not values, then children are just left to being indoctrinated with information that could be contrary to what they hear at home and church.

I guess times have changed, but the solution isn’t to give more and more unnecessary facts. Instead, we need to focus as a society on empowering parents with the responsibility to give more and more values, morals and truths to their children.When a person has values, they have obligation, duty, purpose, integrity and virtue. These are precisely the things we need in these changing times.

Dear unnamed legislator, The answer to the problem of teenagers engaging in too much sexual behavior these days is this: To change the hearts of the children we must first strengthen the hearts of the parents. Parents are the hearts of families. They must effectively fulfil their parental roles and create a culture that is stronger than the current pop culture and social culture. Unfortunately, these are the cultures being followed more often than a healthy family culture in homes worldwide these days.

To learn more about training a heart listen to the “Training the Heart” audio class by Nicholeen.