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Raising Boys Into Good Men: Why Mentorship Matters Now More Than Ever


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Even though WOW is an organization dedicated to advocating for and protecting women and girls, we have always been engaged in issues related to child-rearing because women are often the most powerful influencers in children’s lives and because women innately nurture the world; both girls and boys. It is with that heart that we happily discuss what boys nowadays need to become good men.

In a world full of noise, distractions, and digital pull, our boys are quietly falling behind. Not because they’re less capable or less valuable than girls, but because society has shifted its focus—and in doing so, has left many boys without the guidance they need to truly grow into the men God created them to be.

The Crisis for Boys Today

According to the U.S. Department of Education, for every 100 girls enrolled in college, only about 73 boys are.¹ Boys are also more likely to be suspended from school, diagnosed with behavioral disorders, and less likely to graduate from high school.² Meanwhile, girls are steadily outpacing boys in academic achievement and college enrollment—and while this is good news for girls, it also highlights a growing gender gap.

Boys are not only falling behind academically, but also socially and emotionally. Many young men struggle to define their purpose or place in the world. Screens and gaming provide temporary escapes but often leave them more isolated and detached. Our sons are increasingly growing up without a clear sense of what it means to be a man.

Caleb’s Story: From Screens to Sawdust

Caleb, age 12, was like many boys today—bright, funny, and obsessed with gaming. Most days, he spent hours online immersed in digital battles, his mind constantly stimulated but his heart feeling strangely numb. He had no real interest in chores, no hobbies outside of technology, and little motivation to engage with others in real life.

His parents, concerned about his detachment, asked Caleb’s grandpa if he could spend more time with him. Grandpa, a retired contractor with a heart full of stories and calloused hands from a lifetime of hard work, came up with a simple plan: build a clubhouse in the backyard.

At first, Caleb wasn’t sure. Tools? Measuring things? That wasn’t his scene. But Grandpa gently persisted. “You’ve got good hands,” he said. “Let’s put them to work.”

Week by week, board by board, something began to change. As the clubhouse took shape, so did Caleb’s confidence. He began to ask questions, offer ideas, and take ownership. For the first time in a long time, he felt needed. Useful. Alive.

That project turned into a weekly tradition. Caleb and Grandpa now build birdhouses, shelves, and even a tree swing for his little sister. And somewhere in the mix of sawdust, conversation, and shared goals, Caleb started to become a young man.

Boys Need Men

Caleb’s story is not an isolated one. Boys are wired to learn by doing, to bond through shared challenges, and to grow under the steady hand of a mentor. Yet today, many boys are raised primarily by women—mothers, teachers, counselors—who love and serve them deeply but may not be able to model manhood in the way boys crave and need.

When boys are mentored by men with life experience, they begin to rise. They watch how men speak, solve problems, control emotions, and serve their families. They begin to understand that manhood is not about domination or ego—it’s about discipline, responsibility, sacrifice, and strength.

The Old Testament offers this insight in Proverbs 22:6:
“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
This kind of training isn’t passive. It’s intentional. Hands-on. And it requires time, vision, and love.

Lessons From the Past: Building a Nation Together

If we look back to early American history, particularly during the era of westward expansion and the settling of frontier towns, we see examples of communities built through the united efforts of both men and women. Women taught, healed, and nurtured. Men cleared land, built homes, and protected the community. Neither role was more important than the other—but both were essential.

These rugged societies were strong not because of individualism, but because families and communities took it upon themselves to raise children with resilience and purpose. Boys were taught skills that kept communities running. Girls were taught to lead in ways that brought compassion and order. Everyone had a place. Everyone mattered.

We need to reclaim that vision again—one where boys are trained not just to survive, but to build, lead, and serve.

How to Nurture the Growth of a Boy

Not every boy is drawn to building or sports—and that’s okay. What matters most is that boys are consistently mentored, challenged, and loved into manhood. Here are a few ways to nurture that development:

  • Teach life skills: Fixing a leak, cooking a meal, managing money, or changing a tire all build confidence and competence.
  • Invite them to do hard things: Whether it’s a hike, a service project, or caring for a pet, boys benefit from responsibility.
  • Model emotional control: Teach them how to process feelings calmly and solve problems with integrity.
  • Encourage face-to-face conversation: Teach boys to express themselves respectfully and confidently in real-world interactions.
  • Limit screen time: While technology isn’t all bad, too much can stunt social development. Help boys reconnect with the physical world.
  • Praise virtue: Honor qualities like honesty, courage, patience, and self-control. These are the true marks of a good man.
  • Tell family stories: Share examples of male role models from your own family or history. Let boys know they come from a line of good men.

A Call to Action

It’s time to rally behind our boys again.

Fathers, uncles, grandfathers, youth leaders, neighbors—your influence is needed more than ever. Boys aren’t born knowing how to be men. They learn it from those who take the time to show them.

Let’s not leave our sons to be shaped solely by social media, entertainment, or peers. Let’s shape them with our hands and hearts—like Grandpa did with Caleb. Because when boys know they matter, when they’re trusted with responsibility and taught to lead with love, they rise.

They become strong men. Valiant men. The kind of men who bless families, build communities, and weather the storms of life.

Train your sons and daughters to govern themselves by attending the next TSG Parenting Mastery Training in Lindon, Utah. Details here.

Sources:
¹ National Center for Education Statistics (NCES), “The Condition of Education 2023”
² U.S. Department of Education, Office for Civil Rights, “Civil Rights Data Collection 2021–2022”

Reclaiming American Self-Government — One Citizen at a Time

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Something powerful is stirring across the United States—and it’s not a political party. It’s a movement rooted in our founding structure of freedom. It’s called iGovern.us, and it’s led by Utah Representative Ken Ivory, a longtime defender of the U.S. Constitution and state sovereignty.

This is not a partisan movement. It’s a people movement—focused on structure, not politics.

When I asked Rep. Ivory why people from all political backgrounds are getting excited about iGovern, he said, “This movement is about structure, not politics.” That message couldn’t come at a more important time. Our nation is in need of citizens who know how the system is supposed to work—and how to restore it.

At the heart of iGovern is a mission to teach Americans the principles of Federalism, empowering them to take action and protect the decision-making rights of their states and their families. Whether you consider yourself right, left, or somewhere in between, if you care about freedom, local decision-making, and true representative government, iGovern is for you.

Best of all? It’s simple.

Rep. Ivory explains, “It’s super easy. In just 5 minutes per week people can bring back the principles of federalism and strengthen our great country.”

Imagine what would happen if even a small percentage of Americans spent just 5 minutes each week advocating for the structure of freedom our Founders gave us. We’d see more effective leaders, more local solutions, and more confidence in our ability to govern ourselves and preserve liberty.

WOW (The Worldwide Organization for Women) encourages all our U.S. members to visit iGovern.us, sign up for a free training, and start making a real difference—right where you live.

The Constitution gives us the structure. iGovern helps us use it.

It’s time to get involved.
It’s time to govern. 

WOW Applauds UK’s Commitment to Upholding Women’s Rights and Self-Governance

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At the Worldwide Organization for Women (WOW), we are heartened by the recent actions taken by the United Kingdom to reaffirm the importance of biological sex in law and policy. The UK Supreme Court’s ruling affirming biological sex as the basis for defining “woman” under the Equality Act is a significant step in protecting single-sex spaces and ensuring the safety and dignity of women and girls. ​The Guardian

This decision aligns with WOW’s mission to safeguard women’s rights and promote policies that recognize the unique experiences and needs of women. By upholding clear definitions rooted in biological reality, the UK is setting a precedent for other nations to follow in preserving the integrity of women’s spaces and services.​

Furthermore, the UK’s broader efforts to enhance self-governance through devolution initiatives resonate with our advocacy for empowering local communities. By decentralizing authority and fostering citizen engagement, the UK is demonstrating a commitment to democratic principles and responsive governance. 

We commend the UK for these actions and encourage continued efforts to protect women’s rights and promote self-governance. WOW stands in solidarity with those working to ensure that policies reflect and respect the realities and rights of women worldwide.

States Remove Elective Abortion Providers From Schools

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The Worldwide Organization for Women (WOW) is delighted to announce the recent passage of Utah’s HB233, School Curriculum Amendments, which prohibits entities that perform elective abortions from providing health-related instruction or materials in public schools.  This legislative action reflects a commitment to safeguarding the integrity of our children’s education by eliminating potential conflicts of interest in the classroom.​

Prior to this bill, approximately 6,000 students across elementary, junior high, and high school levels in Utah received instruction from elective abortion providers in 2023. While this number represents a fraction of the student population, the presence of organizations that financially benefit from elective abortions in educational settings posed ethical concerns.Specifically, these providers profit from services related to sexual activity, creating a potential conflict when they are involved in teaching sex education. Recognizing this, the Utah Legislature acted to ensure that educational content remains unbiased and free from external influences that could affect the well-being of children.​

Utah’s proactive stance aligns with measures taken by other states to address similar concerns. In 2013, Kansas passed HB 2253, which, among other provisions, banned Planned Parenthood from providing sex education in schools.  More recently, in 2021, the Iowa Supreme Court upheld a state decision to prohibit Planned Parenthood from teaching sex education programs funded by federal grants.  These legislative actions underscore a growing recognition of the importance of ensuring that those entrusted with educating our youth do not have vested interests that could compromise the objectivity of the instruction.​

Some citizens have expressed concerns that HB233 might limit parental choice in education. However, it’s important to note that Utah operates on an opt-in system for sex education, requiring parental consent for student participation. Opt-in forms do not specify who would be delivering maturation or sex education classes, leaving parents uninformed about the affiliations of instructors. HB233 addresses this gap by ensuring that organizations with potential conflicts of interest are not involved in teaching these sensitive subjects, thereby enhancing transparency and trust in the educational system.​

Additionally, other citizens were concerned that if the bill passed that their children wouldn’t be able to receive sex instruction or maturation, and that medical professionals would be excluded from teaching at schools. However, since the bill affects such a small number of schools along the Wasatch Front, most schools in the state will see no change at all. Regarding the concern about medical professionals, the bill did not limit medical professionals from any hospital or medical office from teaching in schools so long as they are not funded by an elective abortion provider.

WOW is proud to have supported HB233 and applauds the Utah legislators for their foresight and dedication to protecting our children’s educational environment. By enacting this bill, they have prioritized the well-being of students, ensuring that health education is delivered by individuals and organizations whose primary interest is the health and safety of our youth, free from any conflicting financial incentives.​

This legislative milestone reaffirms our collective responsibility to provide children with education that is both impartial and in their best interest. WOW remains committed to advocating for policies that uphold the integrity of our educational system and promote the welfare of families worldwide.​

 

Home Power – The Solution to Social Ills 

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Society, with all of its innovations and intricacies, has lost the vision of home power. With social and political upheaval happening around the globe, parents wonder how to raise up a new generation of people who can set things straight, get society back on track toward goodness, diplomacy, truth, and healthy problem-solving. The solution to these modern problems lies in truths that were fully understood in the past and taught through home power.

Gaskell wrote, “The home is the epitome of society and government.” Whatever happens in the home is what ultimately happens in society. Does this mean that our homes are encouraging social contention and war? Or, maybe, is it that the world’s social and political wars have crept into our homes and shaken the bonds of love, affection, truth, trust and acceptance that should exist there to provide a stable, calm foundation no matter the troubles? What happens to the upbringing of our children if the world raises them through the media in our homes instead of getting life training through the home-training of parents? 

Home Power

Samuel Smiles said, “…home-training includes not only manners and mind, but character. It is mainly in the home that the heart is opened, the habits are formed, the intellect is awakened, and character molded for good or for evil…From that source, be it pure or impure, issue the principles and maxims that govern society. Law itself is but the reflex of homes. The tiniest bits of opinion sown in the minds of children in private life, afterward issue forth to the world, and become its public opinion.” 

Homes have the power to cure or canker society, to corrupt, control, or curtail law. Homes form and open hearts, create stable or slippery foundations, and catapult family opinions into the public sphere, whether true or false, emotional or logical. When we seek to problem-solve the social ills around us, why do we look first to law and legislation, when we should be looking first to home culture, self-culture, and true power; home power? 

Could it be because focusing on improving home culture and self-culture requires taking personal responsibility, self-control, and consistent work, and that law and legislation are just about controlling others and placing blame? The hardest work we ever do is to work on improving ourselves. Healthy homes teach and exemplify self-improvement as the means to happiness and success. 

Home power is a true power. No matter if the home produces moral or immoral opinions, good or evil children and adults, it still has the power to form them. Home power reaches into the formation of thoughts, ideas, morals, character, manners, civility, spirituality, connection, problem-solving, skill development, relationships, habit formation, and condition of heart. 

“Thus the home may be regarded as the most influential school of civilization…” said Smiles. “…civilization mainly resolves itself into a question of individual training, and according as the respective members of society are well or ill trained in youth, so will the community which they constitute be more or less humanized or civilized. The training of any man, even the wisest, cannot fail to be powerfully influenced by the moral surroundings of his early years.“ 

Nurture and Culture 

Consider mothers. From the earliest moments of a child’s life, mothers encircle their child in the arms of affection and love. They protect from harm, instruct in virtue, and correct vice. They form language through songs, stories and simple conversations. They create thought and action habits through living with the child. They socially introduce the child to the world, and set protective boundaries to keep the child steered in their desired direction. 

Mothers nurture. To nurture is to strengthen, nourish and correct. Mothers are not afraid of telling their child “no” and teaching their child that frustration, pain, mistakes, sadness, stress, and loneliness are part of life and can all be overcome. Through love, mothers allow their children to learn and stumble and bounce back again and again as they master their first steps and their social catastrophes. Without the nurture of mother, a child misses what only a mother can give. The heart and confidence of a mother. 

Consider fathers. Throughout all the phases of development and life, father sets the ultimate example for success or failure for his child. He is the person in the child’s life that offers a special kind of acceptance that confirms to the child that they are socially acceptable and valuable despite their failings and struggles. Through father, the child sees their ability to progress. 

Father establishes a culture for living that either compliments or contrasts to mothers. If complimentary, then the child has a firm compass for future success. If contrasting, then the child must test mother’s wisdom against father’s example and choose for themselves. This can be difficult, and some children fall from mother’s teachings. 

Father gives his child a larger view of life by not being the designated nurturer, but still engaging in nurturing and protecting. Fathers protect by setting an example and living virtuously. They point their children toward truth through wisdom, but mostly through the way they live their lives. Children usually set their life bars to the bar that their father set for himself. 

Family culture is unique to any other culture. This is why people are always intrigued to learn about other people’s upbringings and why people often share their upbringings for context in conversations. The method of nurture and the home culture for the family ultimately create the foundation for the child, and that foundation is formed much younger than many people realize. Before the child can fully converse they already know how to socially engage and what priorities matter most because of the nurture and culturing of mother and father. 

Grandparents are also a key part of the nurturing and culturing of children. They offer a second witness to all the teaching from the parents, or they offer another view of life, depending on if the virtues of parents and grandparents are the same or different. Healthy bonds with grandparents give the child a generational view of life and identity that provide the child with increased confidence, wisdom, and purpose throughout life. Ideally, they are also a voice of truth that can reach a child during difficult times when a child may be turning against the ways of their parents or need another wise opinion. 

Solving Social Problems

In order for the social ills of today to be turned around, society must focus on home power. It would be naive for us to believe that all the problems are coming from outside our homes. The way we best engage with the outside influences is for us to exercise our home power. Do we take it all in or not? We can choose. 

When we put our focus on parenting and grand-parenting in deliberate ways and we set boundaries, teach skills, and correct and instruct our children when needed, then we are acknowledging that we are more powerful than some family exploiting voices want us to think that we are. We can choose to have positive or negative effects to our home power, but the home power is constant. Homes do form people. They are that powerful. It’s just the parents who realize this fact that end up having results that can strengthen society, instead of taking society of track. It’s never too late. The world is never too far gone. But, to right the ship and put things back on track, we have to acknowledge and strengthen real power; home power. 

Strengthen your home power by learning the not so known secret for parenting success, here. 

Is Mother’s Day Too Commercial?

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When Anna Jarvis created Mother’s Day in 1908 to honor her mother and her mother’s work meant to nurture mothers who added so much to society, she didn’t intend for it to be commercialized. Now, around the globe, the second Sunday in May, Mother’s Day brings businesses billions of dollars. Many people don’t like the commercialized celebrations of many holidays, so why is there no pushback on Mother’s Day about commercialization?

Maybe it’s because the holiday hits at everyone’s heart; their mom. Where would we be without mothers? Where would our societies be? Mothers are the epitome of duty of sacrifice for a greater good. The very act of bringing a child into the world and later raising a child is a sign of deep love. And, the fact that she does all of her mothering without ever expecting to be honored is what makes honoring her so fun and meaningful for everyone.

The WOW organization sees a deeper impact to celebrating Mother’s Day than many others. Motherhood has been disregarded, disrespected, and degraded to servitude in the minds of so many feminist ideologues. College campuses and the media preach anti-motherhood and the doctrine of SELF. But, motherhood throws the self-serving views of adulthood on their heads. As soon as a woman cares for her baby in public, she softens the hearts of the people around her. Suddenly they care about the baby. She shows the world, by her humble example what is really important; the people.

WOW doesn’t mind the stores making money on Mother’s Day, because the mothers don’t require it. It’s not a selfish holiday like other holidays are. Mothers are happy enough with a hug, rudely made pancakes for breakfast, a hand-drawn picture, or a sweet act of selflessness. Mothers want to see that their children are good people more than anything else. And, Mother’s Day gives the children that chance to show their mother that all her work to raise them was worth it. They do have good, kind hearts after all. Whether the children spend money or not to honor mom isn’t the issue. The issue is, and will always be, that they cared.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Marriage, Motherhood, and the Destructive Intersectional Lens

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This year at the Commission on the Status of Women [CSW], at the United Nations, the topic of discussion was finding solutions for global poverty. While some of the family and motherhood organizations came up with good solutions for teaching entrepreneurialism, networking, and developing life skills through training programs and micro-lending solutions, many global NGOs and diplomats suggested solutions that would dismantle the family and decrease marriage.

They advocated for more abortion services to be provided and paid for by governments since, through a socialist lens, it is cheaper to pay for abortion services than for births. Others also looking through a socialist, anti-family lens seemed to care about women in poverty when they said that mothers, wives, grandmothers, and children caring for parents should all be called “unpaid workers” and should be paid for fulfilling family responsibilities, but is that message really honoring wives, mothers and grandmothers? 

These seemingly caring messages can be confusing to listeners if they don’t recognize the true value of family relationships and marriage and the miracle of life. The paid worker suggestion insinuates that roles and relationships in family have the same value to us as money or employment. The reason motherhood and nurturing are so valuable is because it comes without price, and is priceless to society.  No one can financially compensate a person for their love and sacrifice for another. Therefore, when love and sacrifice are given, they are more valuable than any paycheck would ever be. Paying a mother to be a mother would ultimately lead to the exploitation of motherhood. When a person gets paid for motherhood, then a mother becomes a birther and children or services become transactional, not the life-giving, most influential support that they really are when done with a mother’s love. 

When motherhood becomes nothing more than “unpaid work”,  then we promote financial entitlement, lose the whole family unit by focusing on work transactions, and simultaneously disconnect children from their mothers by taking a mother’s supreme status away. A woman’s children would represent money to her. That’s objectification of children and women. 

Marriage is rarely talked about in a positive light at the CSW conferences. Most marriage references refer to child-marriage and how unnecessary marriage is for a woman’s happiness. Ironically, most people discussing marriage are unmarried people. 

Obviously, a person doesn’t need to be married to live a fulfilled life or to find happiness, but marriage and family have led to stable, selfless societies since the beginning of recorded history. When a man and a woman sacrifice for each other and their children by honoring a marriage covenant, the children have greater outcomes and society stays more service-oriented, instead of self-oriented. 

The University of Virginia sociologist and director of the National Marriage Project, Brad Wilcox,  says that data proves that marriage helps all children. He said, “Marriage benefits children of all racial and ethnic backgrounds,” (Fox News, Kendall Tietz “Marriage Promotes White Supremacy According To White University Professor”)

Pat Fagan, Anne Dougherty, and Miriam McElvain from the Marri Research Institute give “164 Reasons to Marry”, including lower abuse rates, more sexual fulfillment, and less drug abuse and better grades for children in school.  

The Intersectional Lens

Many voices at the United Nations are looking through an intersectional lens as they try to solve complex global problems. Viewing problems through an intersectional lens leads to polarization and blame instead of empowerment and problem solving. 

Intersectional theory was invented by Kimberle Williams Crenshaw, a critical race theory and civil rights activist. The theory suggests that certain people, with certain identifiers such as being married, not married, employed, unemployed, religious, non-religious, or being a certain race are indicators of how much a person is oppressed as a victim or is an oppressor. The theory is very rigid and doesn’t allow for a person to declare that they are not a victim or an oppressor if they don’t want to be one. Once they have be categorized through the intersectional lens, then they are socially, physically, and morally stuck. 

At the United Nations the conversations have adopted the terms intersectional and intersectionality to create more victims and oppressors. While discussing widowhood and inheritance rights problems in Africa, which are big problems for women, the WHO organization said that we need to take an intersectional view of these women and therefore give them more access to abortions. It’s true that rape of widows does often happen, but to declare them victims and to just provide abortions gives them no way past their problems. True empowerment shows a person a path away from victimhood, not toward it. 

Take Aways 

The conversation at CSW is always vast and impossible to monitor completely, but what I saw this year convinced me, more than ever, that our families really are the most powerful groups in society, and that we must value them and protect them. If we keep family, marriage, and motherhood in the forefront of our minds and conversations, then the next generation has a chance to see past the false, disempowering intersectional lens that is being presented to us all. 

Family relationships and the organic organizational structure of family bonds has always had the power to throw those who would oppress individuals on their heads. 

Talk to your children and grandchildren about how much family means to you, about stories of family members from the past, and about how the principles in family life, like marrying and having children can lead them to great purpose and fulfillment. Simple conversations can bring a needed light in our darkening world. 

Strengthen your family bonds and better solve family problems by learning self-government 

Let There Be Peace on Earth and Patience For All Mankind

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In our modern times, patience is all but lost as our society encourages entitlement and instant gratification. Thank goodness for Christmas. Patience, one of the eternal virtues that great characters are built upon, is part of so many memories of Christmas past and present. We all know the stories of sneak peeking into Christmas gifts because it just seemed too hard to wait until Christmas day, only to destroy the fun on the real holiday because the surprise was ruined. The Christmas gift tradition is a beautifully magical reminder of the sweet joy that comes from waiting. 

For centuries, prophets foretold of a Messiah that would come to save all people. The believers waited. There was no other choice. Patience, after all, is part of having faith and believing. Christmas day was the day of the prophecy, the day all the patience of believers paid off. As we count the days until Christmas on advent calendars and wrap gifts for future opening we are literally rehearsing the faith and patience practiced by believers leading up to the coming of our Lord over 2000 years ago. 

War-Time Christmas 

Sometimes Christmas day brings unexpected challenges and tears. However, those Christmas days have their own kind of magic too as they teach patience in a different way. 

The love contained in Christmas has the power to turn tears of sorrow into tears of gratitude. 1942 was a tearful Christmas for many families who were missing their loved ones due to World War II. Farrell and Beverly Pond had been married for about a year when Farrell was drafted into military service. Soon after, Beverly found out that she was expecting their first child. 

Farrell and Beverly were each looking ahead to an empty Christmas without their true love by their side. At the time Farrell left for military service, the two lovers promised to write to each other every single day that Farrell was away; and they did for three long years. This simple plan to stay connected, devoted to and focused on each other daily, kept them deeply loyal and committed to each other no matter how far apart they were. They built faith and hope in each other as they patiently wrote their letters each day. 

Beverly: “Christmas is just another day for me this year, but I will surely be thinking of you, my darling, and my fingers just itch to open your package. That will be the only fun I’ll have.”

Farrell: “Honey, I’m not expecting anything for Christmas, but I’m getting a little bit anxious to open your box. You have surely got me wondering. No matter what it is I’ll be so happy to have it, because all your love came with it.”

His loyalty to his love and principles encouraged Farrell to agree to working barracks guard duty on Christmas  Eve and Christmas day instead of going to town to drink and let loose like many of the other soldiers did that year. 

Even though Farrell was unable to regularly attend church in the army, he was a very devout believer and felt that getting drunk on Christmas was not the right way to celebrate the birth of the Savior of the world. He wanted to have a calm Christmas and think about his “beloved eternal wife”, even though he didn’t get a chance to talk to her that day. Farrell said that he couldn’t even enjoy watching a show with other soldiers because he didn’t enjoy anything unless his beloved Beverly was seated next to him.

Farrell: “Honey, every time that I’ve been to a show, which is twice, I have had, and still have, a guilty feeling because I hate so much to do anything without you…It is more punishment for me to to go to a show without you, darling, than it ever would be staying in the barracks. I love you so much and nothing is enjoyable when you aren’t with me. I’d so much rather sit and write to you.”

He longed for his wife and married life, and did all that he could to live in a way that would please his wife and God. 

Farrell: “The best relaxation and amusement for me is just to write to you, honey, and keep my bunk and shelf and floor clean, keep my clothes clean and neat and all my personal belongings kept as they should go. Because I know that you would want them in ‘spick and span’ order if I were home, and I don’t feel decent if they aren’t”

They each practiced patience by thinking of and encouraging each other instead of pitying themselves too much. They often testified to each other of the truths they held dear to remind each other, and themselves, that they could endure this trial with the hope of eternal happiness. 

Beverly: “I hope you won’t let yourself get too homesick sweetheart, as I know it’s a terrible feeling. I think I’ve felt the same way many a night since you left. But all you can do is think of the glorious time when we’ll be together again, honey, and of our eternal and undying love.” 

Farrell: “Tonight I can picture you right now. 8:00 pm M.W.T., darling, being out at Dad’s and ‘helping Sasie’ with the dinner…You can never imagine how I miss you tonight, our second Christmas since our being so happily married in the temple of our Heavenly Father. For the first time, I really dread Christmas to come too. I never dreamed I would want you so much, darling, as I do this Christmas and each day that passes. Honey, I love you so much that if I could be with you tonight I would give anything in the world.” 

Christmas day was filled with tears for both of them.

Beverly: “Oh darling, I can’t tell you how I feel today. Everyone is so very good to me, and yet I can’t enjoy any of it without my beloved sweetheart. I keep wondering what kind of day you are having this Christmas, honey, and I’m certainly missing you. Every once-in-a-while the tears just won’t stay where they should, but I always feel better after my hankie gets them…Such an eternal love as ours can never die, my darling, and surly there has never been a love any greater than our love for each other. God, in all his goodness, will surely bring us together very soon, sweetheart.” 

Farrell: “I received so much today that I was truly overwhelmed, darling. The agony of opening the packages and not being able to thank everyone face to face, most of all you my sweet darling wife, was almost unbearable…Your sweet card, darling, brought tears to my eyes because of those words ‘For there are memories we two alone can understand and there are ties that bind us close’…I want to show you each thing that I unwrapped and to kiss you and thank you so much for what you have done for me and what you and your love means to me, darling. More than a few tears have been shed by your eternally loving ‘cubby,’ darling, this Christmas, honey.”

However, behind the tears was patience and hope for better times to come and gratitude for blessings that they noticed in their lives despite their circumstances. Farrell even noticed that their relationship had a chance of improving under the circumstances since they were focusing so much on each other. 

Farrell: “Under the circumstances, darling, may the year bring you happiness and joy, and my prayer is that we will be reunited in the early months of the year. We should be doubly happy and thankful because of the coming of our baby in a  few months…We have truly been blessed in spite of the present world conditions, honey. Our love has grown so much and seems to have grown more since my being in the army, darling, and more because of the blessed event to come to us soon. I hope, my darling, that you had a Merry Christmas. I miss you so much, Beverly dear, and Christmas this year won’t have a joy or happiness for me or you either that we had had on other Christmases that we have been together. Each of the years at Christmas has shown how our love has multiplied for each other and this year is another year only of greater love and affection than all the others put together, darling. Life is so empty and meaningless when I’m not with you, because you are so sweet and loving to me…”

Beverly: “The Lord will hear and answer our prayers I’m sure, darling, and may he always bless you ‘till we are together again…”

Patience is a hopeful thing that ultimately leads to more gratitude and inner peace. 

Beverly: “I certainly pray that it won’t be another year before you are home and there’s ‘peace on earth, goodwill towards men.”

Farrell: “Happy New Year to the sweetest girl that has ever breathed the breath of life, my wonderful, darling, wife. God bless and be with you, Beverly dear, and Jr. too for your eternally loving husband, Farrell.”

Farrell and Beverly survived the years apart during the war and went on to be madly in love throughout their married life. They focused on enduring the war and each Christmas apart with patience and hope and after the war they were blessed with a truly happy, one-of-a-kind marriage. As I read their letters each week with my dad, their son, the lesson of patience and long-suffering that Christmas symbolizes has been engraved upon my heart. Patience is a rare virtue in these selfish times, but those who possess it, are truly blessed with happiness and hope during the hardest of times. 

To improve your marriage and in increase your patience at home come to this online event. 

Are Traditions a Source of Peace or Stress?

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Traditions are much more than activities we regularly do for fun or foods we regularly eat. After all, traditions make up a large percentage of social small talk and family discussion, and they help us get to know each other. Traditions set us apart from others as they demonstrate our uniqueness, individualized family experiences, and memories. However, traditions don’t just set us apart, they also unite us. Traditions tie us to other people through a deep sort of bonding that no one else can fully understand. Families, who originate and often recreate traditions, have a connection that runs deeper than personality or common interests. Enduring family relationships are rooted in memories created during  the planning and participation in family traditions.

Family relationships are formed as families establish daily routines, such as, family prayers, mission statements, after-dinner clean up and other family work. On a weekly basis, many families create lasting bonds and memories by diligently planning and having family activities, family meetings, and attending regular events together. Yet, seasonal traditions, especially the ones associated with holidays, are powerful in fostering lasting memories, because of the extra special nature of the tradition and the anticipation it involves.

Family traditions are so magical that they transform us all into children again. During a 2023 Christmas Devotional, Gerrit W. Gong said, “Part of the magic for Christmas for me is to be a child and an adult at the same time. We delight as an adult in what once delighted the child we once were. We delight with the child as we create and recreate memories and traditions together.”

Holiday traditions, whether good or bad, lay a foundation for connection and communication patterns for our lives. The traditional experiences of our past, whether unifying or dysfunctional, influence our identity and bonding habits. They can promote enduring joy or family-oriented anxiety. 

Distress Over Traditions

Maybe this anxiety is why some people worry over creating family traditions and even sometimes hesitate to recreate traditions from their childhoods. On Today.com, Connie Lissner wrote an article called “Creating Family Traditions is a Bad Idea.” In her article she suggested that since children sometimes push back against seasonal traditions that parents should consider discontinuing those traditions. She even suggested bribing children to participate in traditions by having all seasonal traditions include gifts. Neither one of these ideas will solve the problem of entitlement, selfishness or complaining behavior in the family. They are simply placing a bandaid over a deeper problem. 

Sometimes children can feel that they have outgrown a tradition or that they would rather do something else with their time, missing the significant point of a family tradition. 

Family traditions aren’t meant to please only one person, they are to unify the group. They create a unique memory that represents the family identity and includes the whole family. Of course it would be perfect if everyone liked participating and found pleasure in the tradition every time, but that isn’t likely to happen since we can’t control the choices or processing of others. So, when push-back happens ask yourself, “What is the purpose of this family tradition? Is the purpose important enough to emphasize even if one person is not having a good time this year? Is it okay or even healthy for one family member to not get his way sometimes?” Sometimes being part of a group involves looking at the bigger picture and not thinking only of yourself and what you want. Bonding is grounded and family identity is established when families create traditions and stick to them. 

There are other reasons people don’t like the idea of family traditions. Some people have had bad experiences with traditions that have left them feeling distressed, neglected, or even abused. If sarcasm, prejudices, aggression, and put-downs are part of family traditions, then it’s no wonder that a person might start to think of family traditions as toxic or hostile environments. These family traditions can potentially pass on unhealthy behavioral patterns that will last for generations. In such cases, it could be best to make new family traditions or have open conversations about how to help the family traditions hit the mark for family unity in the future.  

What We Lose When We Lose Traditions

Gerrit W. Gong said, “A Christmas memory recalled, is a Christmas memory made anew. Christmas memories become traditions.” (Christmas Devotional 2023) When we lose a treasured tradition we lose some of the beautiful family memories that lead to identity, security and hope during difficult times ahead. Memories build traditions and traditions make memories. 

Memories get lost when we give up or lose family traditions. When the memories get lost the opportunity to increase a sense of family identity through tradition is also lost. Family traditions offer families who have had relationship problems the hope for healing relationships and greater happiness in the future.  It gives families a  chance to push aside problems, and to focus on family the way they intentionally want to be as a family. When we stop having traditions we potentially destroy the chance for families to deliberately unify about something when they normally wouldn’t. 

How can a certain game, pudding, Christmas decoration, or bedtime story really do that much good? If the same attention is paid to that item or moment, then that item or moment, when repeated is a reminder of old days and joy in relationships. For some people it likely sounds liberating to adapt to life changes and abandon old traditions. 

However, traditions are roots of identity that our children return to again and again as they go through life. We don’t want to lose that. Maybe those temporary selfish complaints are a sign that a tradition needs to change, but they could also be the sign that they need to just invest more in the tradition instead of looking at traditions through an entitled lens. Before you change a treasured tradition, ask yourself, “Am I changing this tradition into an even better tradition for my family, or am I giving up an important tradition that makes us who we are?” 

How To Create Healthy Family Traditions 

Since family traditions are so foundational, it’s worth the effort to establish healthy family traditions for seasonal holidays. Here are four steps for creating healthy family traditions. 

First, work on yourself. The way we feel about ourselves can directly impact the way we interact with and feel about others. If you don’t like a family tradition or are struggling with family interactions, ask yourself, “Is there anything about my own thoughts or behavior that I’m not seeing which I could work on to improve the situation?”

Second, you don’t need to do every new tradition you hear about. I know that some people struggle with the “fear of missing out” more than others, but don’t overwhelm yourself or your family by attempting too many traditions. 

Third, explain to your children why you want to use traditions from your childhood so that they get some buy-in too. You love the traditions for a reason. Share your stories with your children so that they know what you are trying to recreate. 

Fourth, get input from the family about traditions too. Be sure to be open enough with your holiday tradition schedule to allow for time to try new foods and experiences. Maybe try one new thing each year and see if it turns into a tradition. If it doesn’t, no worries, you still have all those other wonderful traditions, like the fruit cake that everyone loves and the family Christmas Eve talent show. 

We all know people who struggle at Christmas time because they either don’t have anyone to relive family Christmas traditions with anymore, or they had such bad experiences with toxic family traditions, like family aggression, that they dread this time of year. This is very unfortunate since traditions are so foundational to each one of us and contribute to our vision of ourselves.  Perhaps this year is a great year to start a new tradition by inviting someone outside the family group to be part of a special family tradition. Maybe opening our arms and sharing our treasured traditions could be just the thing someone needs to have hope for family traditions again. 

Merry Christmas! 

Video by Nicholeen called Creating Family Traditions That Last 

Why Would WOW Suddenly Be Against Title IX?

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“Just tell them you’re a girl if they ask you anything and they’ll leave you alone.” This is what my son’s soccer coach told him a couple of years ago when he was told to play on the girl’s soccer team a few times so that they wouldn’t forfeit. (Coaches stop at nothing to get a win.) My son didn’t want to disobey his coach so he went on the field with the girls. He reported to me, “It was so easy Mom. At first, it was fun to be so much better than them, but then it was boring, and felt like we were just being mean. I didn’t like it. And, after a bit, the coach told us not to score, but just set up the score by passing it to a girl for the point.” This is happening to our girls. No wonder so many girls are stopping sports.

Title IX, adopted in 1972, known for disallowing the discrimination of women based on sex in education programs and activities, has historically helped women have access to sports and was a reason for the creation of women-only sports teams and clubs. Over the years, the Worldwide Organization For Women [WOW] has referred many legislators and leaders to Title IX as a standard to follow for the non-discrimination of women in educational settings. So, why now, after 46 years as a women’s and girl’s advocacy organization, would WOW be against Title IX?

Even though Title IX isn’t perfect, in its current state it has been protecting women and girls from harassment and discrimination in educational settings. College campuses have Title IX offices to take complaints to and to help women and girls navigate social and academic situations that target their sex on campuses. However, now, under the Biden administration, Title IX has been attacked, thereby actually attacking women.

Proposed Changes 

In October, the Biden administration and the Department of Education are planning to make the following changes to Title IX.

“The proposed regulation would be in the Title IX regulations at section 106.41(b)(2):

If a recipient adopts or applies sex-related criteria that would limit or deny a student’s eligibility to participate on a male or female team consistent with their gender identity, such criteria must, for each sport, level of competition, and grade or education level: (i) be substantially related to the achievement of an important educational objective, and (ii) minimize harms to students whose opportunity to participate on a male or female team consistent with their gender identity would be limited or denied.” (ed.gov press release)

What is this saying?

This addition says that so long as a person says that they identify as a certain gender they can play on that gender’s school sports teams. This would include full participation involving locker room and restroom access for that specific gender. It says that the only way a student can be denied is if there is a reason related to an “important educational objective” and that students shouldn’t be denied based on gender. “Important educational objective” is a very subjective term that would be hard to prove in court.

These changes eliminate vital protections for women. Gender isn’t the same thing as sex. Previously Title IX protected women and girls because of their biological sex. Now, Title IX would protect people based on their declared gender. If this occurs, women and girls will no longer have safe spaces to engage in sports. Not only will men and boys feel it’s an easy way to poach the girls’ matches and get the win, but women and girls will get hurt and not make the teams they hope to make. Putting the emphasis on gender instead of sex excludes women from sports by forcing them to unfairly compete with biological males. These changes will be bad for the physical, emotional, and social health of women and girls.

The Department of Education [DOE] says that these changes need to be made to clear up “uncertainty” by coaches related to students of other genders playing sports. This is overreach! The states are tackling this issue independently of the DOE and feel good about their local laws. Federal control of education is unconstitutional, therefore mandating policy related to gender should be a state issue. Additionally, creating a Title IX gender mandate attempts to undermine laws that states have already made that disallow biological males in women’s school sports.

The DOE Is Behaving Unethically 

The creation of the DOE was unconstitutional, and the DOE has overstepped its bounds multiple times. WOW has historically opposed governmental overreach due to our desire to protect state sovereignty. So, it isn’t new that WOW would oppose the US national government on an educational issue. However, this time WOW feels that an attack on women and girls is not just overreach, but unethical conduct for a government department.

As the president of WOW I take women’s sports seriously. I know that without playing on volleyball, basketball, and softball teams in my youth, I wouldn’t be the woman that I am today. Thanks to the Title IX movement of 1972 I had no limitations to my sporting aspirations. Society empowered so many girls and women just like me as they supported equality in sports.

Now, women and girls are pulling away from sports again due to men and boys choosing to claim they are female and then poaching on the girls just like my son did in those unfair soccer games.

The changes to Title IX must be stopped soon. Put pressure on the DOE by sharing this article and posting your positive stories about Title IX or negative stories about the proposed changes to Title IX on social media.

If Title IX is corrupted with these proposed revisions, we will have no choice but to call for the abolition of the US Department of Education.

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