Utah March for Life

march4lifeemail2018printableformary2 (1).png

If you live in the Utah area please join us for a “March for Life” Event at the state capital.  We will begin at Washington Square (451 South State Street,  Salt Lake City) We will walk to the capital.  This is an important event to help in our efforts to support Life here in our state. Bring a donation of diapers for the Pregnancy Resource Center. Dr. Kathi Aultman is speaking and we will also be joined by U.S. Congress Woman Representative Mia Love.

For more information go to March4LifeUtah.org 

The event is this Saturday January 20, 2018 and starts at 11:00 am although if you would like to go early and help volunteer for set up we need volunteers to help. E-Mail Deanna Holland ([email protected]) if you can help with this.  We would love to see support for this event from our W.O.W. members.

Understand Your Christmas Identity


Christmas is full of symbols and characters that inspire us and that we can relate to. We all want to be Santa for someone each year, so we look for needs that we can meet anonymously — just like he would. Some of us relate to Rudolph. We feel different, but know that our difference is just what the people around us need to accomplish their goals. Some of us are the Littlest Angel, so we give our best for Christ even though our offering seems small and humble. Some of us have had or are having a change of heart like Scrooge or the Grinch. Who are you this Christmas?

As I ponder the true meaning of Christmas, I can’t help but delight in the profound comprehensiveness of the characters in the nativity story. Everyone can relate to one or more characters in the story. When we see the birth of Christ through their eyes, it strengthens our own identity and roles.

Due to the uniqueness of the love and sacrifice of the Holy Family, I’m not going to compare any of us to them. It is true that we could each have moments when we have to trust in the Lord for help with our personal missions, and sometimes we don’t feel adequate for what we’re called to do in our lives. But, I think it makes more sense to examine the other characters in the nativity story who honor Christ just like many of us try to do.

The shepherds were the most ready to receive the Christ child. They spent their lives serving and nurturing the flocks and thinking about what was most important in life. When ‘the call’ came to see the Savior, they went straightaway to see Him and proclaim of Him. Is that you?

The Wisemen were smart. They were well read and often sought after for guidance. They had gained all the glories of the world: money, status, power and learning. Have you received some of these things?

They believed in the prophecies they read from the Bible and for years sacrificed their time, their money, their energy and their lives to travel far to visit and worship the Christ child. They were the wise ones of their day. But instead of worrying about what others thought of them and how much they know — as wisemen often do — they focused on gaining more light and truth by seeking out the Christ, no matter how long it took. Are you a wise one?

The sheep didn’t understand everything that was happening, but they felt the spirit of the love of Christ and reverently followed the ones who had an angelic witness and prophesied of His divinity. Are you a sheep?

The inn keepers are sometimes given a bad image. They are often seen as the ones who turned away the Christ child. I don’t think the inn keepers were villains. In fact, I think even the greatest among us could fall into the “inn keeper trap.” This trap is called stress. During this busy time of census, the inn keepers “had a lot on their plates.” They were helping people get lodgings, taking care of details, and putting out the never-ending “fires” that happen when there are many house guests.

The inn keepers would be making food, getting beds ready, answering questions, and trying to keep the inn tidy while so many people were underfoot.

When Joseph came knocking on the inn keeper’s door it was just one more detail to check off the inn keeper’s list. Can you just see the mental list? Answer door and get rid of more work that needs to be done. Check.

The inn keepers were in survival mode. They weren’t evil; just busy. Worshiping and serving the Savior didn’t make it on the list; that’s all. Are you an inn keeper?

The gentle donkey risked his life through fatigue and likely some starvation to carry the holy family and protect the life and ministry of the Christ. He worked hard and didn’t complain. In the story, most people likely see the donkey as a prop, but he actually helped move the work of the Christ forward without being acknowledged. It wasn’t his story. He wasn’t the focus, but he was vital to bringing to pass the full mission of the Savior. He was silent and sturdy, dependable and obedient. Are you the donkey?

No matter which character you resemble most, you can choose who you will be from here on out. We all know who we are meant to be. There is something inside of us that whispers to our hearts the truth of who we are and what God wants us to do with our lives. Happiness comes when we find that piece of our identity and fulfill it.

Identity is a huge part of who we are! It’s about unifying our thoughts and actions with who we know we ought to be. This Christmas, as we live our many roles with love, let us see ourselves as part of Christ’s story. As part of the never-ending lessons learned from that glorious nativity!

Merry Christmas!

The Peck Family

Do you want to improve yourself and your parenting? Join us for our next training retreat!

What Is Destroying Family Bonding?


There is an international parent/child bonding problem. The world has never seen a global lack of parent/child attachment like this before. Of course, there are factors leading to this detachment, factors that the world has also never seen before. Are we experimenting on our families and children and calling it good leadership? Have we given up our roles in the family for social conformity, loss of identity, and cluelessness?

I know I’m not going to win many points with diligent, loving parents by calling them clueless. I’m not intending to be mean, but every day I see video after video that laughs at what parents don’t know. Comedians and YouTubers have never-ending fodder for their acts if parenting is continually equal to a joke. If parents are overly tough, people will laugh. If parents are passive, people will laugh. If parents are worn out and have attitude problems, people will laugh. Why do they laugh?

In the case of comedy acts, GIFS, or online videos, people laugh to fit in socially. They also laugh at comedy like this because they’re allowed into a shared joke. It’s like someone finally told the truth, or inside joke, to the whole room or online world, and everyone listening or watching felt like someone finally got it and allowed them to laugh at it at the same time. They both act like they finally met someone who had the same joke they were hiding inside.

This analysis of why people are only laughing at parenting nowadays doesn’t mean I don’t have a sense of humor. I like a good laugh too. But, the fact that the sarcasm and promotion of parental cluelessness far outweighs the promotion of good, confident parenting is a sad sign for the future of our families and our personal happiness.

Gender Listening Session

Quite by surprise I was asked to consult the U.S. State Department at what they called a “Gender Listening Session.” This session was dedicated to empowering women and girls. As I listened to the other leaders of women’s and girls’ charities and initiatives, as well as leaders in our country, I noticed that I seemed to be the one voice advocating that strengthening the family can create empowerment, safety, and economic stability worldwide.

Each group attending works with people worldwide. These people they work with come from various ethnic, cultural, religious, and economic backgrounds. Some of the problems, like sex-trafficking and sexual crimes against women, were seen in all countries discussed. We all agreed that these problems were of universal concern to all present. But, the ideas for solving these problems varied. Some organizations suggested giving women and girls more access to media and sexual services. Some groups were looking for strategies on how to get more women to be activists for equality so that they can feel empowered. But, I guess I saw things a bit different.

“What is the root problem and the root solution?” I kept asking myself. “Can money, programs, and activism really make women and girls of all countries happy and safe?”

No way. Safety comes from good leadership and self-confidence. Where does a person get these things organically? In the family. Who loves a girl more than her family? Who will risk more for a woman than her family? Who will support her more?

Young girls need a support system. The proven, best support system for them is their families. In almost every case, no one loves the girl like her family. No program or organization can ever replace a family full of love and understanding, as opposed to broad calculations and assumptions. We need to empower girls to turn to their families for learning and support instead of turning to the unfeeling, selfish media voices they’re inundated with. 

Recommendations to the U.S. State Department

What is destroying the family bonding that women and girls so drastically need for happy, productive living? Here are the five reasons I gave:

1. Instead of bonding to their family, they’re bonding to social media and the online world, including games. Women, girls, men, boys, and even babies are looking at digital devices more than conversing with each other. They’re sadly lacking attention from their family, nor are they giving their family attention.

2. They don’t know who they really are. What is a woman? What is a mother? What is a daughter? Understanding family roles is vital to the confidence and success of any person.

3. Parents don’t teach their children enough. If parents don’t constantly teach and correct their children, the child sees themselves as the parent. This creates entitlement and lack of respect, which ruins the leadership roles and function of the family relationships.

4. Parents lack skills for good parenting. Why didn’t parents prior to World War II seem so clueless about parenting? Between then and now we put the delights of the child as the center of the home culture. This is a problem. The parent should always be the center and leader of the home culture. They decide what is most important. Parents are the ones to give instruction and “No” answers. Parents don’t know how to do these simple things, and children aren’t being taught how to follow instructions and accept the “No” answers, among other vital skills. When parents have skills for family problem solving, they exude confidence and secure the respect of their children. Children really want to respect their parents. If the child is the center or boss of the family, then all the family bonds are destroyed.

5. Mothers don’t see themselves as economic engines in society. There is no more vital product a country turns out than its citizens. Child rearing is a cottage industry done best by a mother, who was literally given the life of her child to mold. Motherhood is becoming an after-hours hobby instead of a vital social role. It must come first, even if mothers are also involved in a career.

True Leadership for Today’s Families

These are the reasons family bonding is damaged. And, the solution to these problems are in the problems themselves. Good parents control media usage for themselves and their children, take time to make sure roles are understood and respected, lead children by teaching and correcting them constantly, learn the skills they need for parent confidence, and see the product of their parenting as the most valuable contribution a family can make to a society or nation.

The strength of a nation runs right through the very fiber of its people, down to the last town, family and heart. Leadership is built into a social fabric. The family structure required to create a child also provides leaders for each child. False, misguided or clueless leaders will produce weak people. Likewise, a leader who is wise, confident and attentive to the environment they control will instill maturity, wisdom and self-mastery in the hearts of their children. These children will speak truth to the world because their parents, who were safe and good, trusted them with the truths they needed for success that only a family environment can provide.

Learn more about teaching your children self-government here.

Christian Families in Pakistan Uniting to Learn Self-Government

YounasANDMarthaGroup photo with Pastor Sharoon.jpg

Younas and Martha Martin are from a small Christian community in Lahore, Pakistan. While looking for a school to send their daughter to, they researched the top U.S. universities to see which ones had the strongest family values. They ultimately decided upon Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah. After their daughter married and settled down in early 2015, she learned about a type of family communication and parenting called, “Teaching Self-Government.” This began a chain of events that today is transforming whole communities of families in Pakistan.

How It All Began

It’s not every day I get Facebook calls from Pakistan, but that’s just what Younas and Martha Martin did. They called me.

Through phone calls and emails, I learned about the work they were doing in Pakistan with a Catholic program called “Family Life.” This program helps women and children in their Christian community and around their area. It’s designed to strengthen family relationships, improve character and protect the sanctity of human life.

“What a small world!” I thought. Our family had also just been approached by the “Family Life” office for the Catholic Diocese in Kenya. They requested for us to come to Kenya for 3 weeks to train the leaders in the Catholic church who are over family programs. I mentioned this coincidence to the Martins and they said they would love to have our family do a similar training in Pakistan.

Sadly, we just can’t go everywhere we’re requested to go for multiple reasons, so I had to tell the Martins I wouldn’t be able to come to Pakistan to train their families. However, helping the families in the Christian communities in Pakistan is a perfect match for the mission of Teaching Self-Government, so I suggested that we donate an online training course to them to use for the “Family Life” group there.

Each month the Martins invited their community to gather in their home for lessons about being calm, strengthening couple relationships, and establishing loving but firm parenting skills. They have been helping many community members transform their family cultures so that their homes are more emotionally and spiritually safe, as well as empowering.

[[{“fid”:”223″,”view_mode”:”default”,”type”:”media”,”attributes”:{“height”:228,”width”:466,”class”:”media-element file-default”},”link_text”:null}]]

[[{“fid”:”224″,”view_mode”:”default”,”type”:”media”,”attributes”:{“height”:1235,”width”:2200,”style”:”width: 450px; height: 225px;”,”class”:”media-element file-default”},”link_text”:null}]]

After a few months of teaching the group, it became too large for the Martin home to handle. They had to look for a larger location. With help from The Worldwide Organization for Women, a nonprofit charity, they located and rented a larger facility for their monthly meetings.

Monthly — and sometimes more often — the Martins open the doors of their Family Life center in Lahore to teach the self-government principles that are bringing needed peace and understanding in their homes and community.

[[{“fid”:”225″,”view_mode”:”default”,”type”:”media”,”attributes”:{“height”:1840,”width”:3264,”style”:”width: 450px; height: 254px;”,”class”:”media-element file-default”},”link_text”:null}]]

[[{“fid”:”226″,”view_mode”:”default”,”type”:”media”,”attributes”:{“height”:304,”width”:715,”class”:”media-element file-default”},”link_text”:null}]]

One recent attendee to the Teaching Self-Government classes emailed me to tell me how her family has drastically changed. She said it was due to focusing on strengthening their family relationships by learning new skills for communication and understanding.

As part of their family outreach and healing, the Martins also prepare clothing and food packages for poor children and women in their community. Each year the Martin’s funds have decreased, but they still do what they can and try to get others to help too.

[[{“fid”:”227″,”view_mode”:”default”,”type”:”media”,”attributes”:{“height”:206,”width”:343,”class”:”media-element file-default”},”link_text”:null}]]

No matter where we are around the world, the human family shares one thing in common: the love and need of family. We all have families. Families are our greatest influencers and learning environments for our lives. So, if family life is not feeling calm, loving and united, then the whole family struggles. In fact, our societies and the world also struggle. It’s inspiring to see people dedicate the golden years of their lives to making the world a better place and sacrificing so much to bring families closer together.

To donate to the Pakistan Family Life Project, visit worldwideorganizationforwomen.org . Since WOW is a registered nonprofit, your donation is tax deductible.


Human Trafficking Being Done By Teens?


This darling red head was almost made into a sex slave.

Father, Scott Lee Jenkins, says his young daughter was nearly trafficked because of a 15 year old boy named Bruce. Apprently Bruce was used by the traffickers to lure teenage girls to them and their trafficking business. 

Some states like California and Nevada have extremely high trafficking rates due to their high amounts of tourism, but even Michigan, where Jenkins lives is rated as the number 7 trafficking state in the United States. 

Read Jenkin’s story of how he almost didn’t know that his daughter was getting ready to have a “meet up” with traffickers and how he stumbled upon a clue and took quick action. This story shows how important it is for parents to know what their children are looking at online at all times and why it really is a danger for a child to have a social media account at all. Here’s his story. 

I may be weird but I have always insisted that I sign my children into any digital device we have and that they use it in my presence. We also don’t give our children cell phones of their own. They can use our “kid phone” which is NOT SMART. It can call and send single texts only. That is it. This phone can be borrowed when they are going to a friend’s house or when they are going to work or something important, like maybe a date. That is the way we keep our children from being addicts to media and from getting into things they shouldn’t online. 

My adult children have each told me that they are so glad I had these digital boundaries for them. They get to college and see other young people addicted, distracted, and unable to carry on healthy converstaion because they have had way too much digital. 

WOW tries to stop trafficking before it starts by supporting policy that protects the consciences of children and holds the pornography industry accountable for the damage they are causing to society. 

Christian Mother’s Innovation Helps Girls Grow In Faith


At a recent mother’s event I met Sara, a mother who acted on a feeling to make beautiful dolls for girls that promote faith too. 

Years ago, I was frustrated as a mother that the American Girl dolls my daugther and all her friends wanted to have were part of a company who changed it’s values away from family and faith toward trendy, changing values. So, when I met Sara I was inspired. I don’t have little girls anymore, but I immediately saw the value in her idea to make dolls that promoted her vaules instead of the values of trendy society. Here is a short article written by Sara about her dolls and her mission to make the world a bit better. 


Do you have any little girls in your family? If so, you are probably aware of the 18 inch doll craze they all seem to go through. I became aware of it when my oldest daughter was six or seven years old. It seemed that almost every little girl we knew either had an 18 inch doll or was asking for one. My little girl was no different. I began to think it would be a great idea to use little girls’ love for 18 inch dolls as a fun and creative way to teach them more about God. I imagined creating doll characters based on my seven- year old and a few of her friends.

It was a fun daydream to develop in my mind while I completed the tasks of diaper changing, feeding, and the other jobs that went along with caring for my two youngest daughters who were both still infants. That is all it was – a daydream – for almost two years, until one day I mentioned it to a friend. She loved the idea and encouraged me to make it a reality. An encouraging word from a friend – that’s all it took. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29

It was clear that this was God’s project right from the start. Not only did He prompt my friend to encourage me that night, but He lined up every event that followed. From leading me to friends who offered sound business advice, to answering my prayers for help with the huge task of writing stories for each doll character, to providing me with a business partner, Shane Hodges, who had what I lacked – God has been in charge of Girls of Faith from the beginning.

Besides the Christian theme of Girls of Faith, another thing that sets our dolls apart from any other on the market, is that they are made in America. Being able to create and develop the only toy vinyl doll that is made in America is further proof of God’s working.

Our first doll, Audrey, is based after my oldest daughter. In her story, Audrey reaches out to a new girl at her church school. As she tries to share her faith with her new friend she learns that although she may not have all the answers she can make a difference in someone’s life by simply sharing the love of Jesus. Having three daughters myself I know the social struggles little girls go through. Our goal with this doll is to encourage girls to be inclusive in their friendships, and by doing so they can be living examples of God’s love.

Our second doll, Hannah, is based after one of our good friends, Hannah Truckenbrodt. In her story, Hannah is forced to get out of her comfort zone and make a bold move for God. The story concludes with her making a decision for baptism. Our hope is that this character will inspire little girls to follow Jesus no matter the cost.

Our third character will be released soon, and her story tells of a little girl with big plans for the future. She is inspired by stories her grandparents tell of their missionary adventurers. This story will help little girls understand that they don’t have to wait until they are grown to do big things for God. There are plenty of missionary opportunities surrounding us each day.

Creating Girls of Faith has been an exciting and educational journey so far. Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “Faith is taking the first step even when you can’t see the whole staircase.” God has continuously built the next step in this “staircase” at just the right time and I can’t wait to see what He has in store for Girls of Faith. You can read more about our story and see our beautiful dolls at www.girlsoffaithdolls.com.

Join WOW for Utah’s Mom’s March for America

moms march.png

The Mom’s March for America is a national gathering of mothers that WOW supports. It’s purpose is to bring recognition to the powerful influence of mothers in our homes, communities, and nation. In addition, the event’s purpose is to help Moms, “raise the bar of decency, civility, and liberty in our culture”. The main event is centered  in Omaha, Nebraska, and broadcast live so you can join the march wherever you are, but cities across America are hosting local events in support. Utah’s event is located in Bountiful. Go to momsmarcusa.com for more information.

“This is not a march walking down the street, shouting and carrying signs. This is a Cultural March; a celebration of the biggest cultural movement happening in America – the march that mothers make every day in their homes, neighborhoods, and businesses as they nurture their families, influence their communities and shape our nation.” momsmarchusa.com

Lest We Forget: The Vision of Educating Young People


This is the time of year the focus of the world is on education and preparing our children to learn and grow toward success. We enroll the children in classes, schools, programs and activities in hopes they will get an education to prepare them for the future. Is our current educational plan adequate for the future our children will face? How can we know what they will need when the future is uncertain? Will foreign languages, advanced math classes, and programs designed to enhance talents be enough? What is most important?

The Beginning of Schooling in America

Today there are a few educational theorists who believe that if parents would get out of the way then children would be free to get a better education. However, the majority of society still knows that children need direction and instruction from wise adults and parents throughout their education because proper moral development requires guidance. From the time parents took education upon themselves, prior to common schooling practices today, adults have acknowledged two kinds of education: intellectual education and moral education.

Moral education encompasses learning honesty, respect for others, responsibility, duty, virtues and good citizenship. It helps young people acquire virtues and develop moral habits that will prepare them to live good and happy lives. It also helps them become valuable and contributing members of society.

When common schools were first started in Dedham, part of the Massachusetts Bay Colony in the New World, moral education was the top priority. The New England Puritans were concerned that their children learned to be good people by following the examples of those from the Bible more than any other books. The early colleges and universities followed this format as moral as well as intellectual places of learning.

What Are Youth Preparing For?

It’s often said that the only constant in life is change. Innovations consistently change the world. We regularly must adapt and learn to use new devices and machines as old ones become obsolete. The Ironrite ironing machine my mother learned to use a child didn’t prepare her for the computer I had to learn as a child. She had to adapt. Likewise, the hover boards of today will not prepare our children for the advancements of tomorrow. Clearly education for our youth isn’t about gadgets or learning to use technology. Anyone can do that. We all did it.

So, what are we preparing our youth for? Are we preparing them for a certain kind of career? Jobs phase in and out. There used to be jobs that don’t even exist anymore like typesetters, lamplighters and log drivers. What did those people do when their jobs were no longer needed? They adapted. We have jobs today that are getting replaced by software and powerful economic engines that will make some current jobs obsolete in no time. What will happen to manufacturing, editing, underwriting, teaching, farming, and many other such jobs? What will we do when we’re reduced to facilitator when we used to create lesson plans ourselves as teachers? Well, I guess we will need to adapt or innovate in a new direction.

Additionally, the political and economic climates will also always be changing. So, if technology, finances, politics and jobs will change, this means that no matter who the student is, when they complete their educational experience, the future is always uncertain.

Getting the Best Education for Adaptation

In a time when children and adults are becoming less confident in their skills and more fragile in their emotions and relationships, it’s clear something is generally missing from our current educational experiences.

Many parents are seeing this deficit and going back to historical values-based learning, which usually involves good old fashioned work. Why do parents tend to look to work when the children seem to be becoming more selfish, entitled, and emotionally fragile? Something inside every successful adult points back to the steps they made to become who they are. They know they conquered task by task and that it took years of determination, persistence and grit. They pushed themselves toward their goals by working. They remember doing chores and being made to work as children. And they  realize when looking at a selfish child that work must be an important part of a good moral education.

And so it is. Philosopher Samuel Smiles said in the 1800s, “Work is the antidote for a sick character.”

The best education we can give our children is a character-building education; a moral education. Since character is crowned with duty, a person can’t have good character without morality — meaning a commitment to follow what is good, right and true. A person learns to have duty by feeling bound to serve goodness and do what is right.

So often today’s youth are taught to look at only what is self-serving. They ask themselves, “What’s in it for me?” And “What do I get out of it?” In fact, serving themselves is almost made to sound like a virtue. “Be the real you” and “achieve your dreams” are catch phrases of the day that they are indoctrinated with. These phrases don’t serve a higher power or morality. They create a new morality where the child or the person is the supreme authority.

Lest we forget, no matter what lies ahead of us, the greatest education is one that teaches character, industry, faith, intelligence, loyalty, duty and determination. This type of education will fit a man or woman for whatever lies ahead, no matter the impending changes. When individuals have a good moral education, they will always be hired, always lead and always be prepared to innovate solutions for the days ahead.

A united family environment is essential for teaching character development. These resources can help the family become more united.

Family Strengthening Conference in Utah Worth Attending!


WOW president, Nicholeen Peck, has been asked to speak at the 2017 Up Lift Families Conference sponsored by the Mrs. Janette Herbert, first lady of Utah. Join us for a night of inspiration dedicated to up lift your families. 

October 14th, 2017

Thanksgiving Point Show Barn

5:30 – 9:00 pm


To Find Personal Success, Give Yourself a “No” Answer


Self-government is being able to determine the cause and effect of any given situation and possessing a knowledge of your own behaviors so that you can control them. This means that each person decides what type of person they ought to be and plans for how to become this person. When, as it always does, the person falls off the path to success a bit, the person recognizes what has happened and then corrects his course to maintain his desired direction. This is what it means to master yourself.

June decided that she wanted to improve her health and maybe shed a few pounds. She determined that to accomplish her goal she needed to exercise more. So, she planned to walk before work each morning for 45 minutes. At first June did great. She awoke one hour earlier and walked daily for about 10 days. She felt better than ever before. Then one night, June stayed up too late talking to a friend on Facebook. When morning came, she couldn’t get up. This started a new trend. June stopped waking up because she started staying up late chatting. What does June have to do to get herself back on track?

Howard loves his three children. They are young, energetic and always want their daddy to play after work. Howard works hard fixing cars all day long, and sometimes into the evening. Oftentimes he doesn’t feel like rolling around the carpet and playing games with the children. Upon evaluation, Howard recognized that his children were asking him less and less to spend time with him. He knew it was because he never felt like spending time with them. So, Howard made a plan. He planned that right before he walked through the door he would say out loud to himself, “I love playing with my children. We will have fun tonight.”

This plan worked for Howard. For a few days, he really had some fun experiences with his children. Then one stressful, tiring day he forgot to prepare himself for family fun and walked past everyone at home without saying a word. Three-year-old Stephani said, “Dad, my stuffed elephant wants to go on a walk with us tonight.” Howard was tired. What should he have done?

Jason, a smart 14-year-old, has seen some things on the computer he knows have damaged his mind and his light inside. The problem is, after seeing one pornographic image he craves seeing more of those images regularly. With his parents guidance, Jason made a plan for how to handle the cravings and how to hold himself accountable. To free himself from addiction, what must Jason do?

June, Howard and Jason are in different situations, but the skill they all need is the same. They need to know how to give themselves “No” answers and how to accept “No” answers too. June needs to give herself a no answer about staying up late. Howard needs to give himself a no answer about ignoring the family. And, Jason needs to give himself a no answer about giving in to his cravings.

Those who are self-governing essentially instruct themselves and give themselves “No” answers repeatedly as they progress toward their desired goal. If people are unwilling or unable to give themselves a “No” answer, then they will always live a sensual life. They will find themselves in bondage to their emotions instead of confidently steering their soul toward safe and purposeful harbors.

The best time to learn to accept “No” answers is when we’re young. Before we learn to feel entitled, or to indulge in emotional or selfish thoughts and actions, we can learn how liberating it feels to be the captains of our own souls and accept “No” answers. Accepting “No” answers is a skill that can be learned as soon as a child can understand speech.

The steps to accepting a “No” answer are: first, look at the person; second, keep a calm face, voice and body; third, say, “Okay” or disagree appropriately; and fourth, drop the subject. Once children learn to accept “No” answers from their parents, then they can accept “No” answers from siblings, friends, teachers and others. Then the child learns to give themselves “No” answers and accept those too.

So, what if a person didn’t get to learn this lesson well as a child? What if the child was allowed to whine and argue with their parents instead? Well, it’s never too late. The person can learn to accept “No” answers in adulthood, too. Contrary to common modern dysfunctional thought, rules are not meant to be broken. They are meant to help us master ourselves. So, an adult can start their path to self-government by deciding what kind of adult they ought to be and then make rules for themselves. The adult may have to verbally tell themselves “No” to temptations to stray from the rules for a while before the rules feel easy to follow.

As the adult follows the initial rules they set for themselves, then they can set more and more to continue their path to their desired self.

The self-government path is the path to freedom. It requires planning and the strength that only comes from saying, “Okay” to “No” answers again and again and again. In our time of addiction and excuses let’s help others around us learn about a simple skill that can pull them out of their problem. This simple, four-step skill is called, “Accepting ‘No’ Answers.”

Would you like to join me on a Mexican cruise to family unity and self-government November 5-12? We will learn vital skills for creating self-governing families.  See details here.