Life & Health

Let’s Get This Party Started!

We strongly support, and have shared the influence of Mothers- and how we create life, initiate growth, shape culture, and influence nations.  We reaffirm that the time has come for a “Mastermind” of discussions, meant to really dig in, link arms, and act in unity! With that, we are thrilled to introduce MOMTalks- 15 minute presentations (sounds like a party, doesn’t it?) covering all topics related to MOMS- from parenting to public policy- giving women an opportunity to connect, mentor and encourage one another– and even share their own story.  Presentations were live-streamed earlier today, and you can watch for them on the MOMTalks YouTube channel!

MOMTalks- sponsored by Homemakers For America, launched from Liberty Hall, in Ogden, Utah today! On Constitution Day- September 17, 2018 with events being scheduled in 25 Cities in 2019.

Utah March for Life

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If you live in the Utah area please join us for a “March for Life” Event at the state capital.  We will begin at Washington Square (451 South State Street,  Salt Lake City) We will walk to the capital.  This is an important event to help in our efforts to support Life here in our state. Bring a donation of diapers for the Pregnancy Resource Center. Dr. Kathi Aultman is speaking and we will also be joined by U.S. Congress Woman Representative Mia Love.

For more information go to March4LifeUtah.org 

The event is this Saturday January 20, 2018 and starts at 11:00 am although if you would like to go early and help volunteer for set up we need volunteers to help. E-Mail Deanna Holland ([email protected]) if you can help with this.  We would love to see support for this event from our W.O.W. members.

Human Trafficking Being Done By Teens?

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This darling red head was almost made into a sex slave.

Father, Scott Lee Jenkins, says his young daughter was nearly trafficked because of a 15 year old boy named Bruce. Apprently Bruce was used by the traffickers to lure teenage girls to them and their trafficking business. 

Some states like California and Nevada have extremely high trafficking rates due to their high amounts of tourism, but even Michigan, where Jenkins lives is rated as the number 7 trafficking state in the United States. 

Read Jenkin’s story of how he almost didn’t know that his daughter was getting ready to have a “meet up” with traffickers and how he stumbled upon a clue and took quick action. This story shows how important it is for parents to know what their children are looking at online at all times and why it really is a danger for a child to have a social media account at all. Here’s his story. 

I may be weird but I have always insisted that I sign my children into any digital device we have and that they use it in my presence. We also don’t give our children cell phones of their own. They can use our “kid phone” which is NOT SMART. It can call and send single texts only. That is it. This phone can be borrowed when they are going to a friend’s house or when they are going to work or something important, like maybe a date. That is the way we keep our children from being addicts to media and from getting into things they shouldn’t online. 

My adult children have each told me that they are so glad I had these digital boundaries for them. They get to college and see other young people addicted, distracted, and unable to carry on healthy converstaion because they have had way too much digital. 

WOW tries to stop trafficking before it starts by supporting policy that protects the consciences of children and holds the pornography industry accountable for the damage they are causing to society. 

Join WOW for Utah’s Mom’s March for America

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The Mom’s March for America is a national gathering of mothers that WOW supports. It’s purpose is to bring recognition to the powerful influence of mothers in our homes, communities, and nation. In addition, the event’s purpose is to help Moms, “raise the bar of decency, civility, and liberty in our culture”. The main event is centered  in Omaha, Nebraska, and broadcast live so you can join the march wherever you are, but cities across America are hosting local events in support. Utah’s event is located in Bountiful. Go to momsmarcusa.com for more information.

“This is not a march walking down the street, shouting and carrying signs. This is a Cultural March; a celebration of the biggest cultural movement happening in America – the march that mothers make every day in their homes, neighborhoods, and businesses as they nurture their families, influence their communities and shape our nation.” momsmarchusa.com

To Find Personal Success, Give Yourself a “No” Answer

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Self-government is being able to determine the cause and effect of any given situation and possessing a knowledge of your own behaviors so that you can control them. This means that each person decides what type of person they ought to be and plans for how to become this person. When, as it always does, the person falls off the path to success a bit, the person recognizes what has happened and then corrects his course to maintain his desired direction. This is what it means to master yourself.

June decided that she wanted to improve her health and maybe shed a few pounds. She determined that to accomplish her goal she needed to exercise more. So, she planned to walk before work each morning for 45 minutes. At first June did great. She awoke one hour earlier and walked daily for about 10 days. She felt better than ever before. Then one night, June stayed up too late talking to a friend on Facebook. When morning came, she couldn’t get up. This started a new trend. June stopped waking up because she started staying up late chatting. What does June have to do to get herself back on track?

Howard loves his three children. They are young, energetic and always want their daddy to play after work. Howard works hard fixing cars all day long, and sometimes into the evening. Oftentimes he doesn’t feel like rolling around the carpet and playing games with the children. Upon evaluation, Howard recognized that his children were asking him less and less to spend time with him. He knew it was because he never felt like spending time with them. So, Howard made a plan. He planned that right before he walked through the door he would say out loud to himself, “I love playing with my children. We will have fun tonight.”

This plan worked for Howard. For a few days, he really had some fun experiences with his children. Then one stressful, tiring day he forgot to prepare himself for family fun and walked past everyone at home without saying a word. Three-year-old Stephani said, “Dad, my stuffed elephant wants to go on a walk with us tonight.” Howard was tired. What should he have done?

Jason, a smart 14-year-old, has seen some things on the computer he knows have damaged his mind and his light inside. The problem is, after seeing one pornographic image he craves seeing more of those images regularly. With his parents guidance, Jason made a plan for how to handle the cravings and how to hold himself accountable. To free himself from addiction, what must Jason do?

June, Howard and Jason are in different situations, but the skill they all need is the same. They need to know how to give themselves “No” answers and how to accept “No” answers too. June needs to give herself a no answer about staying up late. Howard needs to give himself a no answer about ignoring the family. And, Jason needs to give himself a no answer about giving in to his cravings.

Those who are self-governing essentially instruct themselves and give themselves “No” answers repeatedly as they progress toward their desired goal. If people are unwilling or unable to give themselves a “No” answer, then they will always live a sensual life. They will find themselves in bondage to their emotions instead of confidently steering their soul toward safe and purposeful harbors.

The best time to learn to accept “No” answers is when we’re young. Before we learn to feel entitled, or to indulge in emotional or selfish thoughts and actions, we can learn how liberating it feels to be the captains of our own souls and accept “No” answers. Accepting “No” answers is a skill that can be learned as soon as a child can understand speech.

The steps to accepting a “No” answer are: first, look at the person; second, keep a calm face, voice and body; third, say, “Okay” or disagree appropriately; and fourth, drop the subject. Once children learn to accept “No” answers from their parents, then they can accept “No” answers from siblings, friends, teachers and others. Then the child learns to give themselves “No” answers and accept those too.

So, what if a person didn’t get to learn this lesson well as a child? What if the child was allowed to whine and argue with their parents instead? Well, it’s never too late. The person can learn to accept “No” answers in adulthood, too. Contrary to common modern dysfunctional thought, rules are not meant to be broken. They are meant to help us master ourselves. So, an adult can start their path to self-government by deciding what kind of adult they ought to be and then make rules for themselves. The adult may have to verbally tell themselves “No” to temptations to stray from the rules for a while before the rules feel easy to follow.

As the adult follows the initial rules they set for themselves, then they can set more and more to continue their path to their desired self.

The self-government path is the path to freedom. It requires planning and the strength that only comes from saying, “Okay” to “No” answers again and again and again. In our time of addiction and excuses let’s help others around us learn about a simple skill that can pull them out of their problem. This simple, four-step skill is called, “Accepting ‘No’ Answers.”

Would you like to join me on a Mexican cruise to family unity and self-government November 5-12? We will learn vital skills for creating self-governing families.  See details here.

The Talk

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I have the privilege of being Mom to four wonderful daughters. As head of our little feminine sphere, I’ve had to initiate lots of mother/daughter chats of various sorts- biological, social, etc, and the cautionary type, especially of the opposite sex. The youngest has reached the age where some of these talks follow in rapid succession as her autonomy is increasing in various social situations.  I was feeling well seasoned in this area, she being the fourth, but as I pondered, I realized we needed an additional cautionary talk because of the moral confusion that abounds.

I introduced my new topic right before she left for an all girl’s camp. We reviewed about how traditionally boys and girls are separated for many activities at her age for the general protection of girl’s modesty and chastity. A religious environment of all girls and women leaders, aside from petty social drama, I had previously felt were safe places for her older sisters in regards to these, but not for her. I had to tell her she had to guard her modesty and chastity around girls and women as well.  I’ve heard one too many stories lately, where some young woman was totally blindsided by an aggressive, even abusive advance by another female. I didn’t tell her about any of the stories, and I discussed this in a manner that protected her conscience and modesty. Still, this was a sobering moment for me, but as a parent I’ve got to understand the times we live and adjust accordingly.  I have the feeling there will be many more new topics I’m going to have to add to our chats.

The Office of Fatherhood

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In an era of social confusion, Father’s Day lends an opportunity to honor and clarify this unique and valued office. I use the word office because it denotes Fatherhood as an answering to duty by one who is fitted for that performance.

WOW’s 7th position on Fatherhood states:

 We encourage men of all ages to obtain the knowledge, skills, wisdom, and confidence necessary to assume their role as honorable leaders, proficient providers, and loving husbands and fathers in their homes and families.

Fatherhood involves a voluntary trust between wives and children that institutions have traditionally and wisely supported even censured in its neglect. Centuries of wisdom illustrate that a weakened, frustrated, and confused society is the result when this trust is broken.  Homer dramatically contrasts this idea between his Iliad and Odyssey.  In the Iliad, there is the destruction of a whole society because of one infidelity. Its companion epic, the Odyssey, teaches that faithfulness between one couple Odysseus and Penelope preserved a society that was beginning to unravel.

While the man’s role of defender or protector appears innate, the actual making of boys fit for the office of Husband and Father is a unique male challenge and an art that is best practised by Fathers, supported by Mother. This transition from boyhood to manhood was not lost in Homer’s story either. He illustrates Telemachus’ difficult struggle into manhood in the long absence of his father. 

As far as a Husband and Father’s responsibility of provider, I’ll use my own story, since the conquer and plunder method of Odysseus has become antiquated, thank goodness. I am currently a degreed stay at home Mom and quite content with my hiatus out of the workforce, and total economic dependence on my husband. In fact, I am grateful for my husband’s assuming his office as provider for the family. I spent about a decade trying to balance work and family, and found it exhausting, stressful and unbalanced. It actually led to health issues.  I felt I couldn’t really give my best self to anything or anyone.  The last fourteen years out of the workforce, commencing with the birth of my third child has felt healthy, natural, and balanced. I feel I’m better able to give my best self and feminine energy to the people and things I care about the most. I attribute this to my husband and me learning to live better within our complementary spheres. We’ve discovered Father in his office and Mother in hers helps to harmonize the home and is the natural ingredient children and societies thrive in. May God bless Fathers and Fatherhood that uniquely male office.

A Sign Our Society Needs Self-Government

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On a recent plane flight I happened to open the magazine provided for passengers by the airline in the seat back pocket. In the magazine there was an article titled “Break Room” about these “Anger Rooms” that are starting to pop up around the country. 

For between $25 and $75 a person gets the opportunity to smash a fake office, living room or kitchen. The company can also provide mannequins to destroy as well. 

Donna Alexander, the founder of Anger Rooms said the idea is to provide “a place for people to safely lash out without any consequences.” 

After reading this line in the article my heart sank. “Are we really living in this place?” I wondered. Do we live in such a brutal, out of control society that it would be considered good therapy or appropriate for a person to spontaneously destroy stuff or mannequins posing as real people? Is the next great trend for the modern world anger and violence? Are we that selfish? Have we lost touch with our humanity? 

These Anger Rooms are proof of our society’s entitlement mindset. The business is based on the idea that a person should be allowed to be as aggressive as they want to when they feel an emotion coming on, and not have to follow God’s law of cause and effect. 

It is a false ideology that people need to “lash out” in order to calm down. Sure, when a person gets angry and aggressive they release endorphins which cause a high and then a low similar to  the high and low induced by exercise, but that kind of chemical manipulation isn’t calm.  It isn’t safe either. 

It isn’t safe for a person to feel like they have to beat something or smash something to gain control of themselves again. What could happen to a person who routinely visits Anger Rooms to “lash out” and then one day is in a town without an Anger Room? What could they feel entitled to do?

According to the employees of Anger Room in Atlanta the solution to this potentially unsafe situation is clearly more shops. In one video on www.angerroom.com the staff member interviewed said, “If there were an Anger Room on every corner, the world would be a better place.” In the “Hemispheres” magazine the company said that they have intentions to take Anger Rooms global in 2017. 

It saddens me that there is a market for paid anger sessions. 

Don’t forget that it was the villain in the recent Star Wars movie who lost control, not the good guys. Kylo Ren, dressed in his black cape and mask, repeatedly lashed out in anger with his light saber on computers and in entire rooms aboard his ship. No one was there.  The property was his. He didn’t hurt anyone during those anger sessions. Despite all of this my son leaned over to me in the movie and said, “Mom, he is totally out of instructional control.” It was obvious that his evilness and out of control behaviors complimented each other.

As I look at the social and psychological steps we have taken in recent years to arrive at this new type of emotion-based Anger Room business, I see a society living a lie. The lie is that they see themselves as more humane and loving than ever before yet there are more bullying cases at school than ever before, more cyber bullying than ever before and more domestic violence and abuse cases than ever before. Is our society going more and more out of control? Are we living in a never ending violent video game? Does war have to be in our heads as well as on our televisions? 

I am in my 40s. When I was a child most children still didn’t talk back to their parents. Now days I have seen children yell and hit their parents, even in front of other adults and in public places. In a recent Wall Street Journal article titled “Parenting in the Age of Awfulness” Leonard Sax said, “Children are immersed in a culture that stokes disrespect.” 

What could be more disrespectful than a violent video game aimed at hurting another imaginary person for no apparent reason. And what about the way people talk to each other on social media and commentary threads on blogs? People are hostile and aggressive and this is seen as a sign of power. Text talking cuts out all civility in discourse.  And, finally the interactions seen in television and movies are selfish and image as well as power based. 

On the internet we preach of personal power but never preach of self-restraint. Accepting no answers is not an option in most people’s minds. This is proven when young parents ignore authority as they let their children run wild in businesses and public places. We are missing boundaries and no answers. We need self-government. 

This might go down in history as one of the most negative articles I have ever written, but I think it is important to take in the whole picture. Society at large doesn’t seem to be filling in the missing pieces. 

We don’t need places to lose more control and ignore consequences. Instead we need the source of true control, and to focus on positive consequences. Without consequences there is no good and no happiness as well as no bad. Good choices create good consequences and a happy life. We need to put off the anger, not feed it, and show the world how to find the real power and the real happiness by learning self-government. 

The increased social emphasis on anti-bullying has increased bullying, and the increase of a variety of media addictions and disconnection from family has created more selfishness and violent tendencies. Entitlement mentality is at an all time high and respect is at an all time low. Even self-respect is hard to find. 

The history of this social change and reasons why we are now in this violence mess could all be discussed at length, but the solution is simple and short. Roles. If parents and children understood their roles again the world would be different. No answers would be given when needed and problem solving would occur with the help of consequences. When people understand their roles at home they remain more free from the intrusion of outside influences upon their roles. The media would become less important and be used less frequently. The role of media in our lives would be considered more carefully. 

I have noticed that parents who know their roles and frequently teach and correct their children are also the parents who analyze the influences coming into the home more as well. 

Knowing our roles and understanding them is only half he battle though. We must know how to properly use them. This means we need to know how to do the teaching with principle and skill. This is why I teach self-government. 

 

Notes:

Anger Room and Promotional Video: http://www.angerroom.com/ 

Hemispheres Magazine by United Airlines: http://www.unitedmags.com/ 

Domestic Violence: http://www.austin-institute.org/research/is-domestic-violence-on-the-rise-in-america/  

Bullying: http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/bullying-statistics.html 

“Parenting in the Age of Awfulness” http://www.wsj.com/articles/parenting-in-the-age-of-awfulness-1450397051 

Kylo Ren Temper tantrum video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaZ0L7aDx50 

A Year To Remember For The Utah Legislature!

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This year WOW was actively engaged in the Utah Legislature fighting to protect religious libertites, parental rights, family, and rights of conscience.  There were a lot of bills and resolutions this session that are worth talking about.  

The biggest topic on Utah capitol hill for the past few years has been what to do about the anti-discrimination bills that keep pushing language that would not protect religious liberties.  WOW has fought dilligently for the past three years to protect religious liberties. 

SB99, SB100, HB322, SB297 and SB296 were a handful of the bills that asked for religious liberties or anti-discrimination legislation or both.  Of these bills SB296 and SB297 passed.  This last bill was a balanced bill calling for anti-discrimination in housing and employment, but also calling for protection of religious liberties.  

During this legislative session the LDS church spoke out in favor of SB296 and SB297undoubtably making a positive influence on their passing. The ACLU opposed these bills. WOW was very disappointed that HB322 did not pass as it was a very good bill for protecting religious liberties.  

There was an exciting bill stating that parents must opt their children into sex ed. classes now.  This is a great precaution to take to protect the consciences of children and religious freedoms as well as parental rights.

HB48 passed.  This bill prevents some uses of powdered alcohol.  This is good news. 

WOW was opposed to HB391 the death with diginity (assisted suicide) bill. Luckily this bill did not pass. 

WOW was opposed to HB134 which was a homeschool tax credit bill.  We felt that this bill would potentially lead to regulation of homeschooling families in the future leading to possible violations of parent rights, and it is not a fair bill to other families who don’t have children in public schools and won’t get credits.  This bill did not pass. 

SB175 unfortunately passed.  It was a bill designed to create a school safety help line for children.  This hotline will be promoted to children.  The calls will be taken by unknown people at the University of Utah and parents will not be told if their child calls the number.  We have not been able to determine what kinds of advice or services can be offered by the unknown people at the college.  We see this bill as a very possible violation of conscience and a definate violation of parental rights to help their own children.  We felt it would be better to adopt a plan to teach children to talk more with their parents and teachers instead of take more tax money to refer children to strangers whose morals are not known. 

These were some of the big bills we watched and chimed in on.  But, there are always some kind of ridiculous bills like this one.  Did you know that in Utah code it says it is against the law to ride a bicycle with no hands?  Some things are not meant to be made into laws.  

It is important that we all stay as informed as possible so that we can stand up for the principles and values we hold dear.  

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