Even though WOW is an organization dedicated to advocating for and protecting women and girls, we have always been engaged in issues related to child-rearing because women are often the most powerful influencers in children’s lives and because women innately nurture the world; both girls and boys. It is with that heart that we happily discuss what boys nowadays need to become good men.
In a world full of noise, distractions, and digital pull, our boys are quietly falling behind. Not because they’re less capable or less valuable than girls, but because society has shifted its focus—and in doing so, has left many boys without the guidance they need to truly grow into the men God created them to be.
The Crisis for Boys Today
According to the U.S. Department of Education, for every 100 girls enrolled in college, only about 73 boys are.¹ Boys are also more likely to be suspended from school, diagnosed with behavioral disorders, and less likely to graduate from high school.² Meanwhile, girls are steadily outpacing boys in academic achievement and college enrollment—and while this is good news for girls, it also highlights a growing gender gap.
Boys are not only falling behind academically, but also socially and emotionally. Many young men struggle to define their purpose or place in the world. Screens and gaming provide temporary escapes but often leave them more isolated and detached. Our sons are increasingly growing up without a clear sense of what it means to be a man.
Caleb’s Story: From Screens to Sawdust
Caleb, age 12, was like many boys today—bright, funny, and obsessed with gaming. Most days, he spent hours online immersed in digital battles, his mind constantly stimulated but his heart feeling strangely numb. He had no real interest in chores, no hobbies outside of technology, and little motivation to engage with others in real life.
His parents, concerned about his detachment, asked Caleb’s grandpa if he could spend more time with him. Grandpa, a retired contractor with a heart full of stories and calloused hands from a lifetime of hard work, came up with a simple plan: build a clubhouse in the backyard.
At first, Caleb wasn’t sure. Tools? Measuring things? That wasn’t his scene. But Grandpa gently persisted. “You’ve got good hands,” he said. “Let’s put them to work.”
Week by week, board by board, something began to change. As the clubhouse took shape, so did Caleb’s confidence. He began to ask questions, offer ideas, and take ownership. For the first time in a long time, he felt needed. Useful. Alive.
That project turned into a weekly tradition. Caleb and Grandpa now build birdhouses, shelves, and even a tree swing for his little sister. And somewhere in the mix of sawdust, conversation, and shared goals, Caleb started to become a young man.
Boys Need Men
Caleb’s story is not an isolated one. Boys are wired to learn by doing, to bond through shared challenges, and to grow under the steady hand of a mentor. Yet today, many boys are raised primarily by women—mothers, teachers, counselors—who love and serve them deeply but may not be able to model manhood in the way boys crave and need.
When boys are mentored by men with life experience, they begin to rise. They watch how men speak, solve problems, control emotions, and serve their families. They begin to understand that manhood is not about domination or ego—it’s about discipline, responsibility, sacrifice, and strength.
The Old Testament offers this insight in Proverbs 22:6:
“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
This kind of training isn’t passive. It’s intentional. Hands-on. And it requires time, vision, and love.
Lessons From the Past: Building a Nation Together
If we look back to early American history, particularly during the era of westward expansion and the settling of frontier towns, we see examples of communities built through the united efforts of both men and women. Women taught, healed, and nurtured. Men cleared land, built homes, and protected the community. Neither role was more important than the other—but both were essential.
These rugged societies were strong not because of individualism, but because families and communities took it upon themselves to raise children with resilience and purpose. Boys were taught skills that kept communities running. Girls were taught to lead in ways that brought compassion and order. Everyone had a place. Everyone mattered.
We need to reclaim that vision again—one where boys are trained not just to survive, but to build, lead, and serve.
How to Nurture the Growth of a Boy
Not every boy is drawn to building or sports—and that’s okay. What matters most is that boys are consistently mentored, challenged, and loved into manhood. Here are a few ways to nurture that development:
- Teach life skills: Fixing a leak, cooking a meal, managing money, or changing a tire all build confidence and competence.
- Invite them to do hard things: Whether it’s a hike, a service project, or caring for a pet, boys benefit from responsibility.
- Model emotional control: Teach them how to process feelings calmly and solve problems with integrity.
- Encourage face-to-face conversation: Teach boys to express themselves respectfully and confidently in real-world interactions.
- Limit screen time: While technology isn’t all bad, too much can stunt social development. Help boys reconnect with the physical world.
- Praise virtue: Honor qualities like honesty, courage, patience, and self-control. These are the true marks of a good man.
- Tell family stories: Share examples of male role models from your own family or history. Let boys know they come from a line of good men.
A Call to Action
It’s time to rally behind our boys again.
Fathers, uncles, grandfathers, youth leaders, neighbors—your influence is needed more than ever. Boys aren’t born knowing how to be men. They learn it from those who take the time to show them.
Let’s not leave our sons to be shaped solely by social media, entertainment, or peers. Let’s shape them with our hands and hearts—like Grandpa did with Caleb. Because when boys know they matter, when they’re trusted with responsibility and taught to lead with love, they rise.
They become strong men. Valiant men. The kind of men who bless families, build communities, and weather the storms of life.
Train your sons and daughters to govern themselves by attending the next TSG Parenting Mastery Training in Lindon, Utah. Details here.
Sources:
¹ National Center for Education Statistics (NCES), “The Condition of Education 2023”
² U.S. Department of Education, Office for Civil Rights, “Civil Rights Data Collection 2021–2022”
