Gender

The Bathroom Debate Exposed

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Recently, North Carolina has been called stupid, mean,out-of-touch, etc. because they refuse to adopt gender neutral bathrooms. At the same time, big companies like Target have said that all of their bathrooms are gender neutral. People have walked into Target locations with phones recording in their pockets and asked if they, as men, can use the women’s bathrooms without any trouble. The managers assure them they can and that they will talk to women who give them any trouble. (Some videos and facebook posts about the topic have even been removed because they expose the lack of truth behind the policies made.)

The Family Policy Institute of Washington recently did a video that really sums it all up.

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Totally interesting! They point out that some people very easily call perspective truth. It’s kind of ironic that they are on a university campus because traditionally universities have focused so much effort on proof of facts. All the questions he asked the students are all answered with subjective answers. No one got out a tape measure or asked for a birth certificate to find facts.



To some this kind of thinking seems enlightened I think, but to me it feels like that old story about the Emperor’s New Clothes. “Oh, look at those great new clothes. I can’t see them but I better say I do because someone else says they can see them.” The whole time the emperor is naked marching down the street.



Maybe the more “education” people get now days the further away from the facts they find themselves. Education should free us not add bondage by creating confusion. This whole bathroom debate goes against reason and facts. It’s weird that we are even having it.



In the story The Emperor’s New Clothes the emperor’s men tell everyone to prepare to see the very new and expensive clothing. They also tell the people that if they don’t see the clothes then that means the person is unfit for office or unusually stupid.



Who are the swindler weavers today? Who are the emperor’s men? Who will be the little child that calls out, “But he hasn’t got anything on.” Hans Christian Anderson taught us what to do about this bathroom business a long time ago. We need to still consult the facts so that we are not swindled.

I’m sure there will be some who see the bathroom issue with different eyes, but I just keep seeing the facts and it doesn’t add up to be a good idea to change bathroom policies.



I ask myself, “Is it possible that we have been stupid about bathrooms and locker rooms since the beginning? Or, could it be that someone just wants us to buy a new way of living that will make us feel like we are smarter even if we did no fact checking or thinking?”



Here is the story if you need a refresher course. https://www.andersen.sdu.dk/vaerk/hersholt/TheEmperorsNewClothes_e.html

The Best Father’s Day Gift Ever!

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“Urgh!” my husband exclaimed, as he dropped on the leather couch in our family room.  

I could see he was frustrated. Maybe this was the moment I had been waiting for, praying for. Over the years I had seen my husband become more and more lazy in his parenting and communications.  We used to be on the same page with how we corrected and taught the children, but as his busy life consumed more of his time and energy, he started relaxing in his parenting style and had begun to lose touch with his role in the home.

He still saw himself as the leader and father of the family, but the children didn’t necessarily see him that way.  Since I was calmer than my husband and more consistent with teaching and correcting our children than he was, the children started respecting me, but manipulating him.  I felt bad as I saw the children growing further and further away from their father, so I prayed daily that he would feel motivated to change his course and find principles in his communications again.  

At this time in our marriage, I couldn’t talk to my husband about how I felt about these things because he didn’t like anyone to correct him. He viewed my comments, which were made from a place of love and concern, as criticism. Thankfully, we have both taken the time over the years to improve ourselves and our marriage relationship, so now we are in a place where we seek correction from each other., 

A Learning Moment

“What do you want?” I said.  

“What do you mean ‘what do I want?’ That’s a pretty broad question,” he replied.

“Well, you are obviously frustrated.  You just sat down with a deep sigh.  You must want something.  What do you want?  What do you want tor yourself and for your life right now?”  I questioned him again.

“I just want the kids to do what I say,” He confessed.  

“Oh, okay. Just say ‘I’m giving you an instruction…’ before you tell them what to do. The children know the steps to following instructions.  If you pre-teach them in that way before instructing they will understand you better,” I explained.

For years I had taught my children four basic communication and self-government skills and they were good at them.  My husband actually knew the skills too; he just didn’t choose to communicate with them. The most basic of the skills was Following Instructions.  The steps to Following Instructions are: 

Look at the person giving instruction with a calm face, voice and body

Say “okay” or ask to disagree appropriately

Do the task immediately

Check back when the task is complete  

My husband looked at me as a large smile spread across his face.  “Are you saying I need to use the ‘Four Basic Skills’ again?” 

“Well, I think that these skills — Following Instructions, Accepting No Answers, Accepting Consequences and Disagreeing Appropriately — are skills for life. So, yes.  I guess you can say that as parents we can’t stop teaching them these important skills,” I said.

“Okay. I will use the skills again.  I guess I assumed that they should just remember to obey once they were told to,” he confessed.

Now I was smiling. I had been praying that my husband would want to talk about the best way to teach the children, the way we used to discuss it.  My heart was thrilled, we were finally becoming unified the important mission of raising our children again. “Honey, that was a great couple’s meeting.” I said.

“A couple’s meeting?” he asked.

“Sure, these short meetings about what we want are vital to creating the kind of family we are hoping to have. If we have these meetings regularly, you can get lots of what you want.  If you want dinner by a certain time, or more time to cuddle and talk, you just need to tell me and I can help you get more of what you want.”  

At this moment shock set into my husband’s face. “You would make dinner by 6:00 pm every day if I said I wanted it?” he asked in disbelief.  

“I can’t say I would be perfect, but if you really wanted it, I would try to help you get what you want,” I assured him. “That is what people who love people do.  But, if we don’t ever talk about things deliberately, then I won’t know what you want and can’t help you get it.” 

“Okay, let’s have regular meetings,” he said with enthusiasm.  

Lessons Learned And Wants Received 

So, what do all dads want? They want their children to respect them and they want their wives to understand and help them.  Don’t we all want understanding and respect? These are two of the most important things to all people.

This year for Father’s Day, give the dad in your family what he wants most — to feel your love and understanding and to have peace at home.  Maybe this year focus more on how you communicate with him instead of focusing only on a gift. Of course he will still love that new tool or ticket to the big game. But if that game or tool comes with deep love shown through unity, understanding and respect, then the dad in your life will see himself as the luckiest man alive. 

To find out how to teach your family the Four Basic Skills or how to have meaningful couple’s meetings, visit https://teachingselfgovernment.com 

My Mother, My Hero

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To me, a hero is the person who liberates us from our ignorance or rescues us from bondage by teaching us the truths we need.
 

There was a time in my life when I didn’t see my mother as my hero. When I was a child, she seemed weak and emotionally fragile. Although I know now that this was a very hard time of her life, I didn’t see that as a child. I only saw a person who seemed emotionally incapable.
 

Around this time, I started looking outside of my home for a hero to follow. I looked at teachers and women in the neighborhood. I looked to the media and to my father. I found some good mentors, but also some confusing and morally damaging ones as well. In fact, some of my social connections I made started to work more and more against my having a good relationship with my mother. I became selfish, fighting with my mother on a regular basis.
 

In my teen years, I finally learned an important lesson that helped repair my relationship with my mother. I adopted the habit of saying “OK” and then following through anytime my mother asked me to do something. My respect and love for her grew once more, which has been a tremendous blessing in my life.
 

I didn’t truly realize how much of a hero my mother was until years later, when I found myself experiencing post-traumatic stress after the birth of my fourth child. I learned from that experience that a hero is someone who conquers their fears and problems along a difficult journey, then turns around and helps you along the way. My mother had walked the hero’s path when I was a child. I didn’t recognize it then, but I did during this hard time in my life.
 

After the complicated birth of my fourth child, my brain started to play tricks on me. Never had I been more afraid in my life. I thought I was broken and I didn’t know how to get myself back to normal. I was filled with panic attacks and racing thoughts. My body and mind wouldn’t rest, my senses were acutely aware of everything. After 24 hours of this, and in the middle of a panic attack, I picked up the phone and called my mother. I simply said, “I need help,” then hung up the phone.
 

Never in my life had I asked my mother for help like this or made such a short phone call, but my words literally wouldn’t form in the panic attack.
 

My hero-mother jumped in her car and rushed to my house. She ran in the door, took one look at me, and instantly recognized the problem. She told me, “I know what’s wrong. I’ve had this happen to me. We are going to the doctor now, because you’re not going to put up with this like I did for all those years.” She told me how after the birth of her last child — which also had lots of complications — she ended up in my same condition and battled through it for many, many years.
 

Then my mother said the sweetest, most heroic thing I’ve ever had anyone say to me. She said, “Nicholeen, I would go through all that again so that you don’t have to. Now I know why I had to have that awful experience. It was to save you from having the same problem. I can finally say I’m glad I went through all that.”
 

I had judged my mother. I had thought she was weak. Now I knew she was stronger than anyone. She kept mothering, kept loving, and kept serving, even through her darkest days. That is the journey a hero makes.
 

Motherhood is hard — it is the work of heroes. It’s also the greatest gift a woman ever receives.
 

Thank you Mom! You are my hero and my friend! Happy Mothers’ Day!

Here is a free video to help mother’s make their homes more blissful.  

Mothers: The Next Generation’s Hope for the Future

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     This is Lydia Sigourney’s message in her beautifully intelligent 1838 treatise on Motherhood, “Letters to Mothers”. Each page inspires one to recognize the noble and glorious work of Mother, while instructing in a gentle manner through story, anecdote, and practical wisdom. Her work brings energy to the soul, and will strengthen your resolve as a Mom.  A few of her notions for a woman’s place will seem starkly Victorian, but her message to mothers remains a timeless model worth emulation.

“Let Mothers mingle their teachings with smiles, and the dialect of love. It is surprising how soon an infant learns to read the countenance, how it deciphers the charm of a cheerful spirit, how it longs to be loved.”

“….the strength of a nation, especially of a republican nation is in the intelligent and well-ordered homes of the people. And in proportion as the discipline of families is relaxed, will the happy organization of communities be affected, and national character becomes vagrant, turbulent, or ripe for revolution.”

“Do you ask, when shall we begin to teach our children religion ? As soon as you see them.As soon as they are laid upon your breast. As soon as you feel the pure breath issuing from thatwondrous tissue of air vessels which God has wreathed around the heart. The religion of a new-born babe, is…”  (Infancy)

     The above are quotes from Lydia, Christian wife, mother, and the American poetess of the Victorian era, known as the “Sweet Singer of Hartford” and the “Female Milton”.  Her popular wisdom inspired many 19th century female Lyceum Societies to be named after her. It is a shame her work has quietly gone into the dust bin of History, but old can be new again. Give yourself, your family, and society a gift this Mother’s Day and share , “Letters to Mothers”. You can find her work free online at :     https://archive.org/details/letterstomother00sigogoo

Gender Confessions: Valuing Men & Women Part 1 [Video Exclusive]

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The success of the family depends upon each family member feeling valued and fulfilling their full potential. 
 
In this one of a kind video Nicholeen and David talk about how men are facing an identity crisis and how women and men both need to be valued for future familial success.
 
There is also talk about how laziness and love of pleasure are taking over the male identity and how technology has played a part in devaluing men and women.
 
This video is the first part of a two segment series called Gender Confessions: Valuing Men & Women.

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A Year To Remember For The Utah Legislature!

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This year WOW was actively engaged in the Utah Legislature fighting to protect religious libertites, parental rights, family, and rights of conscience.  There were a lot of bills and resolutions this session that are worth talking about.  

The biggest topic on Utah capitol hill for the past few years has been what to do about the anti-discrimination bills that keep pushing language that would not protect religious liberties.  WOW has fought dilligently for the past three years to protect religious liberties. 

SB99, SB100, HB322, SB297 and SB296 were a handful of the bills that asked for religious liberties or anti-discrimination legislation or both.  Of these bills SB296 and SB297 passed.  This last bill was a balanced bill calling for anti-discrimination in housing and employment, but also calling for protection of religious liberties.  

During this legislative session the LDS church spoke out in favor of SB296 and SB297undoubtably making a positive influence on their passing. The ACLU opposed these bills. WOW was very disappointed that HB322 did not pass as it was a very good bill for protecting religious liberties.  

There was an exciting bill stating that parents must opt their children into sex ed. classes now.  This is a great precaution to take to protect the consciences of children and religious freedoms as well as parental rights.

HB48 passed.  This bill prevents some uses of powdered alcohol.  This is good news. 

WOW was opposed to HB391 the death with diginity (assisted suicide) bill. Luckily this bill did not pass. 

WOW was opposed to HB134 which was a homeschool tax credit bill.  We felt that this bill would potentially lead to regulation of homeschooling families in the future leading to possible violations of parent rights, and it is not a fair bill to other families who don’t have children in public schools and won’t get credits.  This bill did not pass. 

SB175 unfortunately passed.  It was a bill designed to create a school safety help line for children.  This hotline will be promoted to children.  The calls will be taken by unknown people at the University of Utah and parents will not be told if their child calls the number.  We have not been able to determine what kinds of advice or services can be offered by the unknown people at the college.  We see this bill as a very possible violation of conscience and a definate violation of parental rights to help their own children.  We felt it would be better to adopt a plan to teach children to talk more with their parents and teachers instead of take more tax money to refer children to strangers whose morals are not known. 

These were some of the big bills we watched and chimed in on.  But, there are always some kind of ridiculous bills like this one.  Did you know that in Utah code it says it is against the law to ride a bicycle with no hands?  Some things are not meant to be made into laws.  

It is important that we all stay as informed as possible so that we can stand up for the principles and values we hold dear.  

Mothers Standing For Family At The United Nations CSW 2015

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In 1995 the United Nations had a monumental meeting in Bejing.  Part of this document created 20 years ago was this statement, “The family is the basic unit of society and as such should be strengthened…Women make a great contribution to the welfare of the family and to the development of society which is still not recognized or considered in its full importance. The social significance of maternity, motherhood and the role of parents in the family and in the upbringing of children should be acknowledged. The upbringing of children requires shared responsibilty of parents, women and men and society as a whole.”  

This statement is in harmony with the mural that provides a backdrop for the Security Council Hall at the United Nations in New York.  Right in the center of the painting is an oval with a woman and a man getting married.  They have a child at their feet which seems to symbolize the marriage as the union that creates stable populations. 

2014 was my first year visiting the CSW [Conference on the Status of Women] event at the United Nations.  After my first experience I was not sure the United Nations remembered how important the family was, but this year I have higher hopes. Don’t get me wrong I am not a fan of global micro-managing or anything like that, but I do think that unity on important issues can help strengthen societies and offer support. 

For many activists who come to the United Nations the global platform is used to elevate the idividual as the most important unit of society.  The arguments for supporting the individual are not usually made with future generations in mind.  The real extreme activists want unlimited abortions, fewer children, more government intervention, forced equality (this never works as then the other party, men, become the oppressed), legal pornography and prostitution (pimping) which lead to child trafficking, and government mandated freedoms for personal preferences. 

This year WOW along with many others promoted the language in the 1995 Beijing document.  We promoted the family as the basic unit of society and spoke about ways we could strengthen the family. 

WOWs Events 

WOW hosted three parallel events this year at the CSW conference.  First we had and event called “The Power of Calm: Increasing The Influence Of Women” by me (Nicholeen Peck).  In this class we talked about how important calmness was and about how freeing it can be.  We also talked about how women promote calmness in all their environments but especially in the home.  And, when women create calm homes their children become free and powerful.

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Our second event featured Jacky and Jose Aponte, parents of 12 children.  The Apontes talked about their story of poverty, abuse, and loss of identity.  Then they shared the solution to these problems; the family.  There were tears and laughs and everyone left with some ideas for how they can strengthen their families. The class was called “Family University”. 

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WOW’s third event was presented by the women of WOW Africa.  The class educated people about the problem facing women in parts of Africa, like Nigeria, when a spouse dies.  Women are not allowed to inherit property if their husband dies and are often left without basic necessities of life.  With no money or property and often times no education as well as the customary (socially manditory) one year of grieving the woman and her children are left in terrible hardship.  The women and men of WOW Africa talked about solutions to these problems facing African women and girls.  

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The SDGs 

In 2000 the MDGs (Millenial Development Goals) were made to last fifteen years.  They were the focus for the nations for these past fifteen years, but are now ready to be reviewed and news goals are to be made.  The new goals are called SDGs (Sustainable Development Goals). These goals are supposed to represent the most important areas of focus for the world for the upcoming fifteen years.  They are being discussed now at the United Nations. 

WOW feels the family, as the basic unit of society, promotes equality and identity because it provides a history and an identity for a growing child. When mothers and fathers fulfill their roles in the family children learn what their future roles in society can and should be for a sustainable future. Without strong families, societies decline and decay. Strengthening families needs to be the highest priority.

The family is the perfect development goal.

To see a very interesting and informative meeting that WOW participated in about making ‘The Family’ a new SDG go here. 

https://m.webtv.un.org/watch/the-family-as-the-agent-of-gender-equality-a…

Others Are Feeling The Call To Support The Family Too! 

At events, in caucus meetings, and in conversations with people from all over the world I found people who are concerned about the family and want to strengthen it.  There were people speaking out about moral issues and in support of the role of men in our society too.  Sure, those promoting the family at the United Nations are still the minority.  But, the numbers are growing.  People are seeing that the truth about what is most important is just not getting enough press or support.  The most important and basic unit of all society is the family. We cannot forget. 

To Get More Important Updates From WOW Sign Up For Our FREE Newsletter On Our Home Page!!! 

 

15 Year Old Boy Honors Dad As His Hero & Speaks Generationally

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Parenting isn’t just what someone does when a child needs to be corrected for something!  It is so much more.  In fact, parenting is a generational thing that can bring great unity, purpose and happiness, or it can be pain and suffering for the whole family. When one parent changes from influencing the family in painful ways to influencing the family with love and unity generations of people will never be the same! 

Fathers and mothers each play a unique role in the lives of their children. Fathers teach their sons what a man should be like, and mothers teach their daughters what a strong but nurturing woman is.  The parents are the vision the children have of what their adult life either will look like or can look and the feelings that they can expect to feel.  

In this video Weston, a 15 year old boy talks about the vision he has for his life now that he has witnessed his father undergo a miracle transformation called self-government.  Weston and his family also talk about their hope for their future and how life has changed at home.  

Weston’s dad is his hero!  And, as we all know a hero overcomes.  That is what all great heroes do.  

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Find Out How To Transform Your Family Too!  https://teachingselfgovernment.com 

Where Have the Adults Gone? A True, But Unfortunate Story

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Where Have the Adults Gone? An Unfortunate, but True Story

A friend recently told me of her niece’s experience as a fourth grade public school teacher. The name has been changed. Paul is her student. One day mother showed up to the classroom with Paul, and explained that Paul would now be called Paula, and would be referred to with feminine pronouns. The alarmed teacher went straight to the administration, and the wise decision was made not to meet the mother’s request. The mother had the ACLU brought in and Paul is now referred to as Paula with feminine pronouns at the school, and he now uses the girl’s restroom.

Being an advocate for children, a former public California school teacher and someone who has worked with hundreds of children, this story struck hard at my conscience and heart. I asked where are the responsible adults in this child’s life? For Paul and all the future Pauls’ benefit, this story needs to be told and logically sorted through.

Foremost, Paul’s story illustrates the miserable failing of the adults to protect and correct.  Paul’s mother demanded that a lie about her son’s sex be perpetuated by the school, against scientific fact and with legal force, rather than to accept the basic order of nature and to teach and have that order reinforced to her son. The truth is God and nature determine the anatomy of a person, and anatomy is what defines gender. Even if an individual doesn’t believe God, it remains basic scientific fact that if all is in proper working order, a female will have the all the physical parts necessary to bear and nourish children, and a male will produce the seed for life to begin. Truth is often revealed in purpose. It is biologically impossible to change sex. Denying Paul instruction of this first reality is a gross failing of the parent.

This brings into the situation, the failing of many adults in the field of medicine, whose false assumptions have served to undermine the parental role and mental health of children.  Recent laws passed in Massachusetts, California and New Jersey bar psychiatrists from helping minors acquire a perception of gender that aligns with their anatomical reality, even with parental permission. A Vanderbuilt University/Portman Clinic study showed that 70-80% of children with transgender feeling, spontaneously lose those feelings. Will those feelings spontaneously disappear in the child if they are continually reinforced by the adults and institutions in their life?

It also appears classroom instruction could be subject to the censoring of basic observable and proven scientific fact. Is this teacher now banned from instruction on this concept?  This is not about sex- ed, but the concept of reproduction as a matter of reality found throughout the plant and animal kingdoms. This would be an utter failing of our education system if this is the case.

Leaving Paul aside for a moment, let’s look at potential effects on all the other children in Paul’s classroom. They are now victims of legal coercion against their own conscience, along with the teacher. They will feel the adults at this institution forcing a lie upon them. They will witness their teacher become the enforcer of the lie (as coerced by the State against her conscience), while both children and teacher know Paul is a boy. This leaves many important questions to be asked.  Not if, but how will the conscience and personal identity be affected? Will the children still feel the lie in six months or will they eventually accept this alter reality as the norm? Does this teach children to cower to and enable delusion in others? Does this mean they will more readily accept lies from adults in the future? Will this influence some to accept lies about themselves? Children are so impressionable and naturally look to adults for truth, protection and direction. What is this teaching them about adults? What is this teaching the children about law? Is this how trust and confidence is built between adult and child? Teacher and student? Individual and State?  For all the children, this is an utter failing of many adults running our legal system and the direction that anti-discrimination laws lead to for minors, which in the end are not humane at all.

Paul Mchugh, former Psychiatrist in Chief at John Hopkins hospital could be the adult hero for these children. In a Wall Street article, Transgender Surgery Isn’t the Solution, he summarizes the true nature of this clinical condition-it is a clinical condition in the same category as anorexia and bulimia. His is a scientific voice we can raise as responsible adults advocating for children.  The link to his article is:

          https://online.wsj.com/articles/paul-mchugh-transgender-surgery-isnt-the-solution-1402615120

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