WOW president, Nicholeen Peck, has been asked to speak at the 2017 Up Lift Families Conference sponsored by the Mrs. Janette Herbert, first lady of Utah. Join us for a night of inspiration dedicated to up lift your families.
October 14th, 2017
Thanksgiving Point Show Barn
5:30 – 9:00 pm
On the Buda side of historic Budapest in Hungary, the land named for it’s conquerer Attila the Hun, under the majestic Buda Castle, where Prime Minister Viktor Orban has his office, the eleventh World Congress of Families was held.
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WOW’s president, Nicholeen Peck, and a couple of her interns, which just happened to be her adult children too, traveled to Budapest to participate at the congress.
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The first night of the congress started with a welcome that was truly a World Congress of Families FIRST, a flash mob. They had a family flash mob at the historic Liberty Square. Here is a video of the flashmob.
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Mr. Viktor Orban invited Nicholeen to speak at the congress about The Importance and Sanctity of Motherhood as part of a panel of experts on the topic.
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During the Demographic Forum, which was the day before the official start of the congress Viktor Orban spoke aboute the importance of Hungarian families having children because their population decreases each year by more people than their country lost during the whole Holocaust and they are concerned for their future.
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There were many great speakers about the complicated demographic situation around the world. This slide was part of the presentation by Pat Fagan, who explained that children have better gains when they are raised by intact families who practice their religions.
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As part of the congress it is customary to see cultural events. This congress was no exception. It was so much fun to see the native Hungarian dancing and singers. But, the best part was that the performers were mostly children. They are being trained in their national heritage, which is so imporant for them to develop strong identities.
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We met people from all over the world who are busily engaged in trying to strengthen families identities and bonds, and who are working to safeguard policy in order to create sustainable countries based upon family values.
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As a partner of the World Congress of Families, WOW hosted a booth. At this booth we gave away three free e-books to leaders and families. We gave links and copies to Simple and Safe, Before They Connect, and A Free Parenting Assessement donated by Teaching Self-Government LLC.
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As always, we are honored to be able to participate at the World Congress of Families and feel like this year’s congress was especially good. It was unique in that there has never been a congress sponsored by a head of a country before. This was a first! But, Prime Minister Viktor Orban was happy to be the first because he wants Hungary to be the “Family Friendly Country.”
Many meetings have followed the congress. Most recently Hungarian leaders met again to discuss solutions for their demographic crisis and how to safeguard families and children in their country. Clearly the congress has created some momentum in Hungary that should do some good.
The role of fatherhood seems to have been under attack for a good portion of my 42 years of life. When I was very young, I watched “The Brady Bunch.” It featured a smart and socially appropriate father whose children turned to him for wisdom. Other programs like “Little House on the Prairie” also had strong fathers. In that show “Pa,” or Charles Ingalls, was the wisest man in just about all of Walnut Grove. However, gradually fathers like Mike Brady, Andy Griffith and Charles Ingalls were replaced in pop culture media by weak — and eventually even dysfunctional — fathers who didn’t know enough to lead their families or navigate life’s problems.
This attack on the role of fathers seems too intentional to be a mistake. Are fathers in the media portrayed as dimwit dads and bumbling or even savage idiots because dysfunction sells? Or could it be something else?
My family was featured on a BBC reality TV show in 2009 where two dysfunctional teens came to our very functional home to stay for 8 days. The world saw these two teens, who came from homes where a father wasn’t present, bond with our family — including my husband. The world saw a glimpse of a real, live functioning family life. By the end of this TV series, these two teens calmed down and ended up begging not to leave our home.
Today James, the then 17-year-boy in the program, always asks about my husband, Spencer, whenever we have had a chance to reconnect. He loved having a father in his life for a week.
This TV program, which showed the power of a functional family, became “the most-watched episode ever,” according to the BBC. So, it seems clear that function sells. In fact, people really enjoy seeing functioning families. Viewers commented that our program was “inspiring” and “gave hope to families around the world.”
Then why are more and more TV shows destroying the image and identity of daddy, if not all men? Why do some people only see men as sensual animals or brainless leeches on society when they used to be known for their strength and wisdom as powerful examples to children and communities?
We used to look up to men and honor them. What has happened, and what could that mean for the identities of young boys who are growing into men? Why would the media want to destroy daddy? Who gains from making daddy look like a doofus?
Since children aren’t in charge of the media, they obviously aren’t the masterminds behind daddy getting an identity makeover. In fact, children are the target of the media’s messages, not the instigators of the messaging.
Mommies who are busy taking care of children and spending their efforts building good characters and forming good boys and girls wouldn’t benefit in any way from daddy being attacked. After all, if mommy wants her boys to be good daddies, then she wouldn’t spend her days talking about how her boys were destined to turn out like bumbling idiots after all her years of work and teaching. She would talk positively about the father of her children to her children and others.
And, of course, daddy would never want to portray himself as nothing better than the butt of people’s jokes. Grandma and grandpa wouldn’t talk bad about daddy because they are still mothers and fathers. They understand how vital it is to have strong, wise fathers — even if things at their homes turned out less than perfect.
I guess those in our society who are left to attack daddy’s identity and reputation are those who aren’t mommies or daddies. In fact, most of the writers of the modern daddy-dissing sitcoms aren’t actually daddies yet. This makes sense since it’s always easier to disrespect someone you don’t relate to. Of course, mothers are also disrespected, but that’s a topic for another article.
In 2016, a Pew Research Center study concluded, “Dads see parenting as central to their identity. They are just as likely as moms to say that parenting is extremely important to their identity.”
Overall, daddies like being daddies and they develop special bonds with their children that mothers simply can’t duplicate. Children raised by both parents have much greater gains academically and in their overall success and happiness than children who don’t live with both parents. Fathers provide stability, identity, safety, wisdom, comfort, and a special kind of love only daddies can give.
It has become increasingly popular for daddies to help with their children in ways that historically mothers only did. This is a good thing. It’s wonderful that daddies are wanting more time to bond with their children and create stronger relationships.
That said, it isn’t required that a daddy behave in a nurturing way to be a good daddy. Daddies don’t have to change diapers and carry babies in packs on their bellies to be good daddies. Daddies don’t have to cook with their children or know how to braid hair to be good daddies.
Daddies who throw balls in the yard, wrestle with the girls and the boys, tease a bit, work hard to provide for the family, tell jokes, and repair things are just as important as daddies who have tea parties and do face painting.
When people think about what makes their dad special, it’s usually simply the presence he had in their life. It’s that he was there to support them, even if he knew nothing about tap dancing or paper folding. Daddies provide strength to their children through a look, a kind word, a sincere correction, and a story from his past.
Daddies don’t need to be mommies. They actually never can be.
If daddies are devalued, then the whole family is devalued. Maybe that’s the point of all the attacks. Maybe the family in general is under attack, with the twisted thought that if the father’s main protector role in the family is diminished, then you can weaken the whole family. Weak families don’t have much positive influence on society.
I know it seems crazy that people wouldn’t want the world to be a family loving place, but unfortunately, there are those who have very negative ideas about families. For whatever reason, there are those who think they might feel a little bit better if they can convince themselves that families are synonymous with dysfunction. Well, don’t believe it. Celebrate the family this year, even if yours is less than ideal, by celebrating good fathers as a source of strength for the family and our world. Happy Father’s Day to all!
Considering the consistent shouts for equality for women and the blatant attacks on motherhood, motherhood needs defending.
I’m fairly certain public school had a negative effect on me and my identity. When I was a small girl, I loved nothing more than playing house, taking care of my baby dolls, and babysitting. But, by the time I was in the fifth grade, even though I still requested new dolls for gift-giving holidays, I stopped telling my friends I wanted to be a mom. In fact, I was pretty sure it wasn’t cool to want to be a mom.
At school, teachers talked about all the great things women could do that men did, but being a mother and having a child was never one of them. I guess that’s because men can’t have babies and become mothers. The teachers’ message was that all boys and girls were supposed to be the same, and girls could only be happy if they lived like boys. Looking back, I see now that the special things my female biology enabled me to do were being completely disregarded.
On and off the playground some of my friends said things like, “I might have one child, but only if it doesn’t get in the way of my career.” Even though I always had some discomfort inside about these selfishly motivated comments, I gave in to peer pressure and started saying similar things.
As a side effect of disrespecting motherhood, I sometimes became disrespectful, even belligerent, to my “out-of-touch,” weak mother. After all, she was “only” a mother, while other women were changing the world in such great ways through their chosen causes and careers.
I disconnected emotionally, logically and physically from my mother. When I did this, I naturally disconnected from my father and siblings too. Everything I was working toward was all about me. What I know now is that to maintain a disconnection and to rationalize my judgement of my mother, I had to disconnect from everyone. I sadly ignored the fact that my mother was the heart of our home, and everything there seemed to acknowledge her value and the importance of her role.
My husband and I have four children. Plus, we fostered many difficult children over the years. For 19 years I’ve been an at-home-mom and a homeschooler. I refuel by teaching and playing with my children. What do I refuel from? In my spare time, I’m head of an international organization called, “The Worldwide Organization for Women,” and I’m the CEO of my company, “Teaching Self-Government.” These responsibilities require I do a lot of writing. They also bring many speaking opportunities worldwide, including at the United Nations and the World Congress of Families.
I’m not sharing these facts about my life to brag. Instead, I simply want to prove a vital point about the value and importance of motherhood to me and to the world. Some people think the career part of my bio and speaking at the United Nations are my most important accomplishments, but that simply is false. The most powerful and important part of who I am, and the thing that best allows me to help influence the world in positive ways is my motherhood. That role has had an incredible influence on the meaning and purpose of my life.
One sunny Mother’s Day, when I was about 15, my negative views of motherhood suddenly changed during a visit to my grandmother’s home. One by one I saw my relatives take turns expressing thanks for the profound influence my grandmother had on their lives and the power she possessed in her community and among her family and friends. When it was my turn to share something about my grandma, my heart had found a truth my mind had been rejecting for years: mothers are more powerful than anyone else in our societies because they change multiple people’s worlds every day. I ended up declaring that I wanted to be just like my grandmother and have a family like she had. The real meaning and purpose of motherhood hit me hard that day!
Mothers and grandmothers are powerful. They form our characters, set the example for happy living, heal our hearts, point the way to happiness and truth, and nurture our identities. All greatness stems back to the hand that formed and taught the great person.
Mothers may not all become the great writers, painters, composers or thinkers of the day, but they write, paint and compose on the hearts of the future writers, painters, composers and thinkers.
Today, many believe motherhood is akin to a servant position, while “true power” emanates from women in corporate leadership positions. There are more corporate women in the world than ever before. In some countries, like Jamaica, St. Lucia and Columbia, women are more likely to be the head of a company. It seems women have clearly received the message that they can do whatever kind of employment they desire.
Then why are more and more articles creeping into the media declaring, “Motherhood is Not a Woman’s Most Important Job”? Why attack motherhood?
In a recent article in Harper’s Bazaar, which caters to fashion-conscious women, columnist Jennifer Wright said that motherhood is “not the most important job there is… It is more like a very demanding volunteer position that you can never, ever get out of… producing a younger person is not necessarily the main contribution people make to the world.”
Not only are these statements misleading for women and grossly biased against functioning families (who rely heavily on a mother to unify and strengthen the whole family), but they also simply aren’t true. There is no greater contribution to the world than creating a good, secure, hard-working person who is willing to sacrifice for the greater good. Mothers do this every day by lovingly raising their children. Mothers either create greatness, or they don’t.
Greatness comes from knowing who you are. Parents teach that; it’s called identity. Loving parents give each of their children an identity in a family setting. They also lead their children to the truth about God, as well as the child’s role in His plan for the world. This in turn creates an identity with God.
Motherhood has always been attacked by the godless and the sensually minded of the world. Motherhood is as near to divinity as a person can get. A mother literally joins with God in bringing a soul to the world. A good mother trains her children to love goodness and to have a desire to devote their lives to making the world great, while at the same time helping others find their greatness. Children trained well by their mothers possess public and private virtue that sets them apart from an increasingly virtueless and selfish world.
It stands to reason that motherhood must be attacked by those who want to continue manipulating and having power over societies. To help them achieve this unrighteous dominion, they must keep mothers “in their place.” If popular opinion and negative sentiments about motherhood can be perpetuated, then mothers lose some of their positive and moral influence in societies.
I find it encouraging that articles such as the one cited above are being published. This means that for all you devoted mommy bloggers and proud mommy Face-bookers who keep talking about how much you love being a mother, it’s working. The world is getting the message. You are having an impact! These negative motherhood articles are rebuttals to your positive motherhood messages. This also means that the tabloid magazines (the ones that keep talking about what celebrity is having a baby next) are actually doing something good. Having a baby will always be one of the most exciting things to talk about. It’s such a miracle and a wonder!
It is interesting that sentiments against having children often end up making children look like they are bad for society. If motherhood is bad, then children, the product of motherhood, must be bad too. These messages are manipulative for our whole society.
An increasing number of women are discovering the negative lessons they learned in their youth about unhappiness in motherhood aren’t true. Recently I met an influential career woman on an airplane who heads a pharmaceutical company. We talked about life and our families. When I told her about my four children and introduced her to my daughter she said, “I wish I would have had more children. I kept thinking I would take the time to do that. I had the one, but he grew so fast, and I didn’t stop to enjoy it. If I would have had another baby, I would have stopped working altogether to enjoy the time for motherhood.”
As the president of the Worldwide Organization for Women, I see claims that some countries are doing better because statistics show they have a higher percentage of women working, while the United States is not doing as well because so many women are stay-at-home mothers. The conclusion of those studies is all wrong. Many in the United States continue to value home, family, motherhood, and child-rearing — while some other countries encourage their families to send mommy away from her family and off to work. And many mommies who choose to work (or who must work) oftentimes choose less demanding jobs with less hours so that they can have more time with their children. This is good prioritizing; not failed progress.
This isn’t to say that motherhood isn’t valuable to women who work. It still can be valuable. I work. Don’t forget that I own and run a business and lead an international nonprofit organization. I also write books and speak. But the center of it all is my motherhood. My identity as mother is more important than any other identity or title given to me. The way I spend my time reflects the deep commitment and honor I feel and cherish being a mother.
If you enjoyed reading this you will really enjoy “Roles: The Secret to Family, Business and Social Success” also by Nicholeen Peck
This year at the UN CSW [Conference on the Status of Women] WOW hosted a parellel event for world leaders called “Family: The Girl Child’s First Line of Defense in Health & Education.”
The first part of that presentation was all about educating parents about digital dangers they might not be aware of and what they need to know to keep children safe as digital citizens.
Here is WOW Vice President, Yvonne Averett, talking about digital citizenship and the new WOW Before They Connect: Mini guide for parents.
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See other speakers from the parallel event here.
Sexual abuse is definately a large problem around the world. WOW is very concerned about it. As we travel the world and meet with parents, leaders and teachers we see that the best way to combat and prevent sexual abuse is to empower parents to take the appropriate action to keep their children safe.
It is not the child’s job to keep themselves safe, and teachers and community members can only do so much. But, the parent can keep the child safe by regularly teaching some simple and non-graphic or overly sexualizing messages to their children. WOW presented this parent guide called Simple and Safe!
This year at the UN CSW [Conference on the Status of Women] WOW hosted a parellel event for world leaders called “Family: The Girl Child’s First Line of Defense in Health & Education.” and presented some surprisingly simple solutions to the sexual abuse problems facing the world and directly spoke to the problem in different parts of the world.
Here are some video clips of Amaka Ada Akudinobi, Esq. and Nahiomi Aponte addressing the topic openly and frankly. Even though we don’t have footage of the talk, we’d like to also thank Mrs. World Ambassador, Heather Richey, for her wonderful presentation and singing at the event!
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To see the speech about digital citizenship and keeping children safe online, click here.
Worldwide Organization for Women sponsored a parallel event at the UN Commission on the Status of Women (CSW), March 21, 2017, titled, Family: The Girl Child’s First Line of Defense in Health & Education.
WOW held a panel with six speakers, who presented information on child sex abuse prevention. WOW emphasized that the most effective abuse prevention program is to empower parents by giving them the information they need to prevent sexual abuse . The panel presenters were: Nicholeen Peck, President of WOW, Yvonne Averett, WOW Board, Sharon Slater of Family Watch, Amaka Akudinobi, WOW Africa member, Nahiomi Aponte, student, and Heather Richey, Mrs.World Ambassador.
WOW premiered their two free e-guides, Simple & Safe, and Before They Connect. Before They Connect offers information about young “digital citizens” and the potential dangers associated with internet use, and suggestions for creating a family use plan. Simple & Safe is a guide that teaches 4 simple safetylessons, essential for children to learn, and how to prevent sexual abuse for parents.
Health and & Education are two strategic areas the UN has included in its Sustainable Development Goals, or SDGs. Goals are assessed and rewritten every 15 years. When participating at CSW, or other UN event, WOW advocates family solutions to the many problems and issues the UN addresses.
Here is our president: Nicholeen Peck, opening the event after we endured protesting from another group and while the other group was in the hallway trying to stop world leaders and diplomats from attending the event. [[{“fid”:”188″,”view_mode”:”default”,”type”:”media”,”link_text”:null,”attributes”:{“height”:360,”width”:480,”class”:”media-element file-default”}}]]
Click Here to hear teh presentation about Digital Citizenship and keeping children safe online!
Click Here to hear some of our speakers addressing what can be done globally to stop the sexual abuse of children!
Click Here for the free e-book Before They Connect
Click Here for the free e-book Simple and Safe
Even though there’s violence dotting the globe, the largest battle of our day isn’t physical. It’s a war of words. All these words are supposed to lead the listeners to truth. Often the talk feels cheap even though the claim is each new idea, paradigm and argument is the most valuable.
Is this word war new? How are children faring during this ideological war? What is happening to family relationships and the historical pattern for finding happiness and success in life? How is this war impacting business, government and religious groups? What impact does the family have on this battle?
This battle of ideas has been going on since the beginning of time and is often referred to as “the great debate.” Philosophers, scientists, theologians and families have tried to determine which ideas are true and which are merely creative, or worse, controlling. Why? Because the search for truth is the search for the meaning of life. Truth is a knowledge of things as they were, are, and as they are to come. Truth is limited to these parameters. Anything more or anything less is a deception of the truth.
Can Common Consensus Make a World Flat?
“By some, ‘truth’ has been defined as a variable—as a relative term. Those who argue thus take the position that what is commonly thought to be true by the constituted authorities of any particular generation is true for that time. That is to say, what is generally believed to be true today is true for this day. But to say this is also to say that what was believed to be true yesterday was true yesterday… That sounds very plausible until we reduce it to specific cases. There was a generation that believed and proclaimed that the world was flat. They were sincere in this belief, and thought they were proclaiming truth—but that didn’t make the world flat, and the truth was and is that the world was not and is not flat. And so we could multiply examples of what people have believed and have not believed, suddenly to come to the realization that no matter what men at a given time happen to believe, if it isn’t true, their belief doesn’t make it true, no matter what the constituted authority of the day has to say about it. Truth cannot be made by authority—nor can it be unmade. Truth is eternal.” (Richard L. Evans)
The Influence of Home and Parents
Even though truths can be taught elsewhere, no one can take the parents’ place as the most influential voice for and example of what truth is. Good parents know a large part of their parental role is to teach their children the vital truths that are necessary to be discerning and free.
The family has the greatest potential for impact on preserving truth, as well as bringing individuals to the truths they need for living happily. Truth brings security, promotes personal goals and initiates a life of purpose. Happiness in life is assured if a person has truth and lives true to it.
Even though this true principle can be discovered in the volumes of histories and biographies throughout the world, families nowadays are currently struggling to help their children find purpose, happiness and truth. Why is that? And what can parents do to create a greater positive impact on their children?
What is happening to children, family relationships, and the treasured values and truths that have historically been taught by parents? Parents are still teaching their children as often as they have time, but lack of time is one challenge parents face today. Families are over-scheduled. Without quality time and experiences together, a parent is just another voice in a very loud world.
The digital age presents more voices participating in “the great debate” than ever before. How are children, and adults for that matter, able to process and discern between the vast amounts of paradigms and ideologies?
Parents can have greater influence in teaching the truths to their children than any other voice in the world if the family relationships are strong and the parents are calm, honest and non-emotional when discussing the differing opinions. Parents need to arm their children with the truth before someone or something else becomes their first source of information claiming to be the truth.
A wise parent talks about sensitive issues before the child is exposed to other sources, and does so with honesty, modesty and a feeling of safety. This feeling alone will bring children back to their parents again and again to talk and ask questions when the child encounters something in contrast to the truths the parent has already taught.
Obviously, more time with family and parents also increases a child’s chances for finding the truths that lead to purpose, security and happiness. Parents mistakenly assume their children need lots of time with their friends and digital devices just because the children are asking for it. Children aren’t typically able to discern what they need psychologically, morally and ideologically. If they could, they wouldn’t need parents. Parents are charged with safeguarding their children’s minds and hearts. They do this best by first discerning for their children, and then teaching and training them to discern for themselves. Then their children will have the experience and skills to appropriately discern when they reach adulthood.
Truth is important for lifelong happiness, but not everything that proclaims to be truth is. Creativity and common consensus don’t make truth. Even though the war of words can be overwhelming, I encourage parents to stand taller, be wiser, and connect deeper with their children. Be the teacher and leader they need in a world full of self-proclaimed leaders who simply desire fame and/or fortune.
Your influence is astounding. Your family relationships can make all the difference in the happiness of your child.
Read “Roles: The Secret to Family, Business, and Social Success” by Nicholeen Peck for more information on how to improve your relationships and positive influence.
The first cellular phone became available to the public in 1984. By 2007 Apple had made the Apple iPhone, which has since taken the cellular phone world by storm. In 23 short years, society went from brick-sized phones to handheld computers. Today, smart phones are everywhere. Even many of the tribal people in Africa now carry smart phones. It’s not rare to see a tribal warrior with a spear in one hand and a smart phone in the other.
Recently, I was speaking with a gentleman about our family’s choice to only have one cellular phone for our children to share. The phone belongs to Mom and Dad, and the children can use it when they leave the home to babysit, work, or when they simply drive some place. But it’s a “dumb phone” with no data. It only has the capability to make calls and send a text message. Upon hearing about our family’s phone policy for our youth, the man I was talking to said, “Oh come on! It’s 2016. How are your children going to even be able to function as adults if they don’t learn how to use a smart phone?”
This was not the first time I had heard this kind of statement. Every time I hear it I find myself pondering on the assumption that a child has to be connected to digital devices such as computers, tablets and phones regularly in order to “function as adults” one day. The more I think about that assumption the more I’m convinced it’s false.
Some Facts to Consider
A team of researchers at the University of Iowa concluded that 50% of toddlers 12-17 months old can master the use of a tablet, while 90% have mastery by age 2. I guess digital devices are child’s play. Surely if a baby can master a device at 1 or 2, than an 18 year old can learn to use a phone too.
MIT reported that a group of researchers wanted to know if an illiterate child could teach himself to read and how to use an iPad after just receiving it. The experiment worked. The researchers dropped off boxes of iPads for children in a village that doesn’t even get goods with printed labels on them. The children couldn’t read at all. They taught a few village adults how to use the iPads in case anyone needed help, and then they just left the children alone with the boxes. The children learned how to open a box, start up the devices, access apps, and learned to navigate and read within a really short time. This experiment shows that not only do children learn foreign things like technology quickly, but they also learn reading quickly. Also the adults in the story who were not technologically literate were also quick learners.
If illiterate adults and children can master devices and reading on their own, then I suppose my children who know how to type papers on a computer, search for items safely online, and how to help me sort out problems with my own phone and its apps, are likely going to be just fine without owning their own devices until they reach adulthood.
Limits Combat Addiction
In a recent New York Post article, Dr. Nicholas Kardaras told of his experience trying to help children overcome digital addiction. He tells a story of a young boy who ended up in a “catatonic stupor” because of the game Minecraft. He cites the recent brain research that proves digital addiction elicits the same brain response as sex or heroine.
Dr. Kardaras says that a full brain detox and reset takes 4-6 weeks of no digital connection. This is hard in our digital world. Going to the store is going to put children in front of screens. They’re everywhere. And what about school? Schools are encouraging screens at younger and younger ages.
According to Dr. Kardaras, this is how to set limits and combat addiction.
Finally, Dr. Kardaras warns parents not to set bad examples for their children by using technology too much themselves.
Putting The Pressure On
Just as more and more research is coming out that proves too much digital is not good for our brains and our relationships, the pressure to digitize everything is piled on parents and children. For instance, there is a national push to digitize education.
Just this last year in my state a bill was proposed to have all classes taught on iPads. This program would give all children an iPad and turn the classroom teachers into tech support instead of teachers. The bill was shot down, but, according to the president of the Tooele County School Board, the concept is being experimented on in a couple a remote locations of my school district. This type of learning is called “one-to-one” education.
How can parents monitor and keep their children safe from overexposure to digital devices when the schools are pushing them otherwise? Many parents naively assume schools know what’s best for children, and so might suppose that the technology is good for children, no matter the changes the child goes through. It is good to remember that “one in 10 people are predisposed toward addictive tendencies,” according to Dr. Kardaras.
In the very near future, schools could be places where screens are teaching more than teachers are. This puts a lot of screen pressure on children and parents.
Digital devices are also convenient for staying in touch with busy teenagers, so many youth and church group leaders are turning to digital means to communicate with their youth. In one church group in Tooele, Utah there is one child without a cell phone of his own. His youth leaders put their calendars and communications on Google for the group of youth, but this child doesn’t spend his days accessing Google so he’s out of the loop. When the youth talked to his young men’s leaders and asked them to help keep him in touch with them via phone calls or paper calendars, they declined the request and said his parents needed to get him a phone. In fact, the youth and his mother told me that the young man feels bullied by his church youth leaders to go digital and buy a phone just to stay in touch and to stop the negative comments about how he doesn’t have a phone. This is a lot of pressure to put on this boy and his family. This boy’s parents are very conscious of his need to stay addiction free. They’re choosing to have human connections instead of digital ones. The problem is the youth leaders are caught up the in the digital social norm and the conveniences of purely digital communications. They don’t want to budge for this young man.
Pressures to go digital are everywhere. Schools are increasing pressure. Church groups and businesses are conducting their work digitally too. Even friends are online now. Many youth feel that they can’t have friends unless they’re on social media and play online games. If the youth don’t do these things, then they worry that they won’t have anything to talk about with their friends when they see them.
What is a parent to do? Should we give children phones and tablets or not? Each family must decide for themselves. It is important enough that it should be a matter of study and prayer. The consciences of children will be molded by their experiences and the lessons they learn and the people they know. This means the games, apps, websites and social networks will all help form the consciences of children. What will you do? How will you prepare your family?
Part of discussing why your family is making certain choices should include a discussion regarding what a digital device really is. Digital devices are tools, not toys. If family members are taught how to use them like tools and respect them like they would respect a power saw or matches, then their ability to keep a healthy disconnection will improve.
We live in the age of technology, but that doesn’t change the recipe for a happy life. Happy people have strong bonds and feel understood by family members and peers, and they know what their purpose in life is. Happy people will continually progress toward becoming the person they need to become to fulfill that purpose.
For other ways to improve your parent/child connection and communication, visit www.teachingselfgovernment.com.
References:
Daily Mail Science and Tech https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-3149025/The-iPad-really-child-s-play-half-toddlers-use-Apple-s-tablet-just-ONE-researchers-say.html
MIT Technology Review https://www.technologyreview.com/s/506466/given-tablets-but-no-teachers-ethiopian-children-teach-themselves/
New York Times https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/07/06/screen-addiction-is-taking-a-toll-on-children/?_r=0
New York Post https://nypost.com/2016/08/27/its-digital-heroin-how-screens-turn-kids-into-psychotic-junkies/
Life Site News https://www.lifesitenews.com/blogs/the-madness-of-giving-your-child-a-smartphone
